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办公室“讨厌鬼”的价值

更新时间:2014-2-28 15:28:58 来源:华尔街日报中文网 作者:佚名

The Value of Annoying Co-Workers
办公室“讨厌鬼”的价值

James liked his job in the admissions office of a large university. It was interesting, decently paid, useful work, he told me at the holiday gathering where we'd met. The only problem: His co-workers agitated his every last nerve.

There was the social butterfly who spent her days flitting from desk to desk; the workaholic who obsessed over every last detail; the malcontent who subtly belittled anyone who spoke up in a meeting; the passive-aggressive assistant who would only answer calls if you were on her good side that week; and the boss, a hopeless narcissist who inevitably made himself the focus of every task. James came to dread going into the office. (For reasons of privacy, I've changed his name, as well as the names of others cited here.)

You rarely get to pick your co-workers, which makes it nearly impossible to predict whether you'll be happy at any new job. While exploring life in the modern workplace, I've heard people grumble again and again not about their job but about their office mates. They were thrown in among the autocrats and the aristocrats; the passives, the aggressives and the passive aggressives; the suck-ups and the backstabbers. This may be why so many of us could relate to the NBC sitcom 'The Office,' with its universal message: The office would be a fine place to work, if it weren't for everyone else.

But not all 'disrupters' -- the personality types who make it harder to get work done -- harm office life or even productivity.

Take narcissists. Sure, they're terrible listeners and apt to gobble up all the credit. But they also can be charming, engaging and charismatic. They can attract and inspire followers and be terrific mentors and leaders -- which is why so many bosses are narcissists. In a 2006 study of more than 100 CEOs, researchers at Penn State found that executive narcissism can actually be motivational. The key to working for such a boss is learning to share praise, making your own contributions subtly known and ensuring that the narcissist doesn't rule your work life.

Another classic disrupter is the passive aggressive type -- the office scorekeeper. Greg, a graphic designer at a magazine and a family friend, told me that he habitually did better layouts for editors who took a personal interest in him. He'd frequently hand in shabby pages for colleagues he spotted going out for drinks who hadn't invited him along. 'I did not ever want to be perceived as looking vulnerable or weak,' he said. 'Why should I do for other people when they don't do for me?'

Scorekeepers don't play fair, which makes them tricky to get along with. But Pat Heim and Susan Murphy, authors of 'In the Company of Women,' argue that scorekeeping can have an upside, if used to encourage cooperation and motivate co-workers -- a sort of 'do for others what they do for you' philosophy.

Then there is the office gossip. A 2012 study at the University of Amsterdam found that gossip makes up a whopping 90% of office conversation -- but isn't as detrimental as you might think. The researchers concluded that such behind-the-back chatter may be essential for group survival. They found that gossip can make offices run more smoothly and improve productivity, helping to keep underperforming workers in line while fostering camaraderie.

Consider Sascha -- a friend's daughter who worked as an assistant to a busy orthopedist in a Manhattan hospital. Sascha had been enduring a painful divorce and was overwhelmed with personal obligations. Her co-workers were losing patience, but she figured they would have to understand.

They didn't. Sascha began to overhear her name whispered in the hallways; she'd enter the break room for coffee, and chatter would halt. But instead of calling her co-workers out, she listened. She tried hard to get her work done despite her personal struggles. 'I was wrong in assuming that my co-workers were my friends, or even that they shouldn't talk about me,' she told me. 'I needed someone to give me a kick in the ass, and, well, they did.'

Finally, there are the obsessive, workaholic types -- disrupters who live for order. They may be annoyingly rule-bound, but they set high standards, communicate well and make great operators, mentors and team members. As a 2011 study from the Rouen Business School in France reported, workaholism often can be constructive, inspiring co-workers to be more original and dedicated.

Adapting to personality types at work need not mean abandoning your principles. Even the most annoying co-workers often have something to teach. You also need to figure out if you yourself are a disrupter. James realized that he was the office enabler, the one who needed everyone's approval all the time. That revelation let him separate himself more from his job -- making him not just a better worker but a better co-worker too.

詹姆斯(James)在一所大型大学的招生办工作,他很喜欢这份工作。他在假期聚会上与我碰面时告诉我,这份工作很有意思,收入丰厚,而且挺有意义。唯一的问题是:他那些同事简直让他烦透了。

同事中有位交际花,一天到晚穿梭在办公桌之间;有个同事是工作狂,在每个细节上都纠缠不休;有个同事是愤青,会不露痕迹地打击在会上发言的所有人;办公室里有个喜欢消极反抗的助理,你那周讨她开心她才接听电话;而老板是个无可救药的自恋者,凡事都必然要抢占风头。这些人弄得詹姆斯开始害怕进办公室了。(因为事关隐私,所以詹姆斯和本文出现的其他人都为化名。)

你很少能有机会挑选自己的同事,因此也就几乎没法预料你从事一份新工作时开不开心。在探索现代职场生活的过程中,我听到人们一再抱怨的不是他们的工作,而是同事。他们被扔进一群令他们讨厌的人中间,其中有独裁者和高高在上的贵族;有的人消极被动,有的人咄咄逼人,有的人则喜欢消极抵抗;有些人爱溜须拍马,还有些人爱暗箭伤人。这也许就是许多人看了美国全国广播公司(NBC)的情景剧《办公室》(The Office)之后都深有感触的原因,这部剧的主题思想是:要是没有其他人,办公室会是个不错的工作场所。

但并不是所有“破坏者”(会影响他人完成工作的人格类型)都会对办公室生活甚至工作效率构成不利影响。

以自恋者为例。当然,他们从不好好听人说话,而且往往会把成绩全部据为己有。但他们也可能很讨人喜欢,令人着迷,富有魅力。他们能够吸引和启发追随者,会成为出色的导师和领袖──这就是为什么有那么多老板都是自恋者。在2006年一项针对逾100名首席执行长的研究中,宾夕法尼亚州立大学(Penn State)的研究人员发现,管理者的自恋事实上能够激励团队。在这种老板手下工作的关键是学会分享荣誉,巧妙地让人了解你的贡献,并确保你的职场生活不被自恋者主宰。

另一种典型的“破坏者”是消极反抗的人──他们是办公室的记分员。我们家的世交格雷格(Greg)在一家杂志担任平面设计师,他告诉我,他的习惯是,为重视他的编辑做设计时会做得好一点。他常常会把做得很烂的设计交给他发现出去喝酒时没有邀他的同事。他说:“我可不想让人觉得我脆弱或者软弱。如果别人不为我做事,我凭什么要为他们做事呢?”

记分员们厚此薄彼,因此他们很难相处。但《与女性为伴》(In the Company of Women)一书作者帕特·海姆(Pat Heim)和苏珊·墨菲(Susan Murphy)认为,如果“计分”能用来鼓励合作和激励同事,那么这种行为也是有好处的──这是一种“其他人怎样对待你,你就怎样对待他们”的哲学。

接下来是爱在办公室传八卦的人。阿姆斯特丹大学(University of Amsterdam) 2012年展开的一项研究发现,八卦在办公室聊天中所占比例高达90%──但它的危害并不像你所认为的那样大。研究人员的结论是,这种背地里的说长道短对团队的生存也许起到至关重要的作用。他们发现,八卦能使办公室运行得更加顺畅,并能提高工作效率,帮助落后的员工跟上队伍并增进友情。

来看看萨沙(Sascha)的经历──她是我一位朋友的女儿,在曼哈顿一家医院为一名忙碌的整形外科医生做助手。萨沙当时在经历一场痛苦的离婚,被个人责任压得喘不过气来。她的同事逐渐失去耐心,但她以为同事必须得体谅她。

同事们并没有体谅她。萨沙开始无意中听到同事在走廊上小声嘀咕她的名字;她走进休息室喝咖啡时,聊天会戛然而止。但她没有冲同事们发脾气,而是去留心听他们说些什么。她尽力克服个人痛苦来完成她的工作。她告诉我:“我以前错以为同事是我的朋友,甚至以为他们不应该谈论我。我需要有人来点醒我,他们确实做到了。”

最后是爱 牛角尖的工作狂──他们是为秩序而生的“破坏者”。他们也许较真得令人生厌,但他们也会设定高标准,他们善于沟通,是出色的经营者、导师和团队成员。法国鲁昂商学院(Rouen Business School) 2011年的一项研究显示,工作狂通常能发挥积极作用,能启发同事,让他们更具创意,更加专注。

在工作中适应个性不同的人不一定意味着放弃你的原则。就连最讨厌的同事通常也有可取之处。你还应该弄清楚自己是否也是“破坏者”。詹姆斯意识到自己是办公室里的赋能者,总是需要得到所有人的肯定。领悟到这一点,使他能更好地把自己与工作分开──这让他不仅成为更好的员工,也成了更好的同事。

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