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在历经伤痛的这一年,美国人如何度过感恩节?

更新时间:2017-11-24 11:30:09 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

After ‘So Much Sadness,’ What Is There to Be Thankful For?
在历经伤痛的这一年,美国人如何度过感恩节?

Some will sit down to Thanksgiving dinner wearing T-shirts that honor a murdered loved one. Others will serve turkey and pie to a congregation devastated by gunfire. They will eat at friends’ tables because their own kitchens and homes were charred to ash.

有人会穿上纪念遇害亲人的T恤,坐下来吃感恩节晚餐。有人会为受枪击事件打击的堂区会众提供火鸡和馅饼。有人会去朋友家吃饭,因为他们自己的厨房和家宅已经化为灰烬。

For many families — too many, really — across an America battered by wildfires, hurricanes and mass shootings, this Thanksgiving is the first major holiday since life was ripped apart. There will be familiar meals and rituals. And a haunting new question this year: How does one give thanks after losing so much?

今年,许多美国家庭经历了大火、飓风和大规模枪击事件——的确太多太多了——这个感恩节是他们的生活被撕裂后的第一个重大节日。食物和仪式还是老样子。今年,一个新问题在人们心头萦绕不去:失去这么多东西之后,一个人还能怎样去感恩?

Some are dreading the day, their grief still too raw to go through the holiday motions. But others said they needed this Thanksgiving more than any other, and welcomed the opportunity to invite family, friends and tradition back into their homes, and find a few moments of gratitude and grace.

有些人害怕这一天,他们的悲伤仍然未能消退,难以应付节日活动。但也有些人表示,他们比其他任何人都需要这个感恩节,并且愿意借助这个机会,让家人、朋友和传统回到自己家中,获得一些感激与虔敬的时刻。

‘You just don’t even know what to say to God anymore.’

“你甚至已经不知道该和上帝说些什么。”

Sherri Pomeroy’s 14-year-old daughter, Annabelle, will not be there this Thanksgiving to bake her extra-fluffy chocolate chip cookies. Karla, Lou, Richard and Therese will not be joining other parishioners to tuck into plates of turkey and pie. They were among those killed on Nov. 5 at the massacre in Sutherland Springs, Texas, during a Sunday service at First Baptist Church.

这个感恩节,谢丽·波默罗伊(Sherri Pomeroy)14岁的女儿安娜贝拉(Annabelle)再也不能回来,烤出分外松软的巧克力碎饼干。卡拉(Karla)、卢(Lou)、理查德(Richard)和特蕾莎(Therese)再也不能与教区其他居民一起制作火鸡和馅饼。他们都是11月5日德克萨斯州萨瑟兰泉(Sutherland Springs)第一浸会教堂(First Baptist Church)周日礼拜枪击事件中的遇难者。

But Pomeroy, the pastor’s wife, will get up on Thanksgiving and cook anyway, making a meal for a shattered congregation in the hopes that she can find a wisp of comfort in her holiday routine.

但是,作为牧师的妻子的波默罗伊会在感恩节上振作起来,走进厨房,为备受伤害的会众做一餐饭,希望能靠着这样的假期活动找到一丝安慰。

“There is so much sadness,” Pomeroy, 48, said. “Not only do you not know how to function in society, you just don’t even know what to say to God anymore.”

“有这么多的悲伤,”48岁的波默罗伊说。“你不知道该怎样发挥自己的社会作用,你甚至已经不知道该和上帝说些什么。”

For more than a decade, Pomeroy and her family made holiday dinner for the congregants at First Baptist. This year, she is cooking 10 turkeys, she said, as she is expecting many Texans from outside the congregation to fill the void left by those who died.

十几年来,波默罗伊和家人都会为第一浸会的会众准备节日晚餐。她说,今年她要做10只火鸡,期待会众以外的许多德州人能够赶来填补逝者留下的空白。

“They were all a big part of our Thanksgiving,” she said of the dead. “And they all helped. And they would have all said — if it was the shoe on the other foot, they would have all said: ‘We’ve got to go on. This is what God has called us to do.'”

“他们都是感恩节的重要组成部分,”她在提起逝者的时候说。“他们都在帮助我们。他们大概会说——如果活下来的是他们,他们大概都会说:‘我们得继续走下去。这就是上帝召唤我们去做的事。’”

“And I just know that I’m not going to dishonor them by giving up. Because then their lives would be in vain. Or their deaths would be in vain.”

“而我只知道,我不能因为放弃而令他们蒙羞。那样对他们的生命将会是一种亵渎。或者对他们的死亡将会是一种亵渎。”

‘Part of me didn’t have it in me.’

“我有点没这个心思。”

Every November, inside the family home that is now ash and rubble waiting to be carted away, Megan Condron would make a “gratitude tree” that she and her children would foliate with paper leaves describing everything they were thankful for.

每年十一月,梅根·康德伦(Megan Condron)都会在家里搭起一棵“感恩树”,她和孩子们会在纸做的叶子上描述自己所感谢的一切,如今,家里只有等着被运走的灰土和瓦砾。

“November is the biggest month for gratitude,” Condron, 38, said.

“十一月是最需要感恩的月份,”38岁的康德伦说。

The family’s home in Santa Rosa, California, was one of nearly 9,000 buildings destroyed by wildfires last month. Her sister-in-law’s home also burned down.

她家的房子位于加利福尼亚州圣罗莎市,是上个月被大火摧毁的近9000栋建筑物之一。她小姑子的家也被烧毁了。

Condron, her husband and their 8-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter have been living with her husband’s parents, and she said they have been overwhelmed by all the love, donations, gifts, meals and support from friends, family and strangers. But when her son, Mason, pointed out that the family hadn’t set up their “thankful tree” this year, Condron said she just felt like she couldn’t do it. Not with so much unmoored and dislocated.

她和丈夫、8岁的儿子以及5岁的女儿一直住在丈夫的父母家里,她说,他们被各种来自朋友、家人乃至陌生人的关爱,以及各种捐赠、礼物、食品和支持淹没。但是,当儿子梅森(Mason)说,今年家里还没有竖起“感恩树”的时候,康德伦说,那么多事情一片混乱,分崩离析的情况下,她觉得自己做不到。

“Part of me didn’t have it in me,” she said. “We don’t have the space. This isn’t our house. I haven’t done it.”

“我有点没这个心思,”她说。“我们没有这个空间。这里不是我们的家。我还没有做感恩树。”

‘I know it’s going to be hard.’

“我知道这将会很艰难。”

He is thankful for the time he did have with her, for the extra moments and bonus days together that he never realized would be so finite.

他非常感谢和她在一起的时光,因为他从来没有意识到,两人在一起的那些日子都是额外的奖赏,而且如此短暂。

That is what Lance Miller says now, as he thinks about the first Thanksgiving without his sister, Hannah Ahlers, 34, who was killed in the mass shooting at a country music festival in Las Vegas last month.

兰斯·米勒(Lance Miller)就是这样说的,这是他第一次不能与妹妹、34岁的汉娜·阿勒斯(Hannah Ahlers)共度感恩节,上个月,她在拉斯维加斯的乡村音乐节上遭到枪杀。

Miller spent 21 years in the military, much of it apart from Ahlers and her family. Then he and his family recently moved to Beaumont, where they were a two-minute drive away. He stayed with Ahlers while the builders finished his family’s home. The families saw each other all the time. He is grateful they got that time. He is grateful, now, that he still lives near her family.

米勒在军队服役21年,大部分时间都无法见到阿勒斯和她的家人。前不久,他和自己的家人搬到了博蒙特,离阿勒斯家只有两分钟车程。房子装修期间,他住在阿勒斯家里。两家人可以经常见面。他很感激他们能够拥有那段时光。现在,他仍然住在她家附近,这让他觉得很欣慰。

“We’re here to help them,” Miller said. “I know it’s going to be hard.”

“我们在这儿帮助他们,”米勒说。“我知道这将会很艰难。”

‘That’s our mantra: Just stay close with your family.’

“我们的箴言是:要亲近你的家人。”

This is the first Thanksgiving without Neysa Tonks, and her family wondered how they should spend the day. They put the question to Tonks’ three sons, who had one simple answer: Be together.

这是第一个没有尼萨·通克斯(Neysa Tonks)的圣诞节,她的家人不知该如何度过。他们把问题交给了通克斯的三个儿子,他们的答案很简单:要在一起。

The family’s close bonds grew even tighter in the weeks since Tonks, 46, was killed in the Las Vegas shooting, her parents and sister said. Her parents moved in with Tonks’ sons. Relatives often just wanted to be with one another, sitting close in the same room. They wear matching shirts with her name on the sleeves.

通克斯的父母和姐妹说,在46岁的通克斯死于拉斯维加斯枪击案之后的几周内,原本亲密的一家人关系变得更加紧密。她的父母搬去与通克斯的儿子们同住,亲戚们常常就单纯地想陪伴在对方身边,在同一间屋子里紧挨着坐。他们穿着袖子上有她名字的配套衣服。

“That’s our mantra: Just stay close with your family,” Tonks’ mother, Debbie Davis, said.

“我们的箴言是:要亲近你的家人,”通克斯的母亲黛比·戴维斯(Debbie Davis)说。

Tonks’ sister, Mynda Smith, offered to serve Thanksgiving dinner at her Las Vegas home, and the guest list swelled to 30 people: a brother from Salt Lake City, friends, family and onetime strangers who became like family after the shooting.

通克斯的妹妹明达·史密斯(Mynda Smith)表示愿意在她拉斯维加斯的家里做一顿感恩节晚餐,邀请的宾客多达30个人:盐湖城的一个兄弟,和那些在枪击案后亲如家人的朋友、亲人和曾经的陌生人。

“You learn to appreciate the people who surround you so much more,” Smith said. “Since the shooting, we’ve said, ‘You have to find light. You have to find the beauty.’ It’s out there. Darkness is so strong, but light is stronger.”

“学会对那些给了你更多陪伴的人们心怀感恩,”史密斯说。“枪击案之后,我们总说,‘要去寻找希望,要去发现美好。’一定有的。黑暗如此深重,但光明更加强大。”

‘We were in need and they felt in their heart that they were going to help.’

“我们正需要帮助,他们由心感到自己想来帮忙。”

On Thanksgiving Day, Aracely Martinez-Ramirez will pull on a donated red dress and head to church, where she will tell everyone what has happened to her in the last few months.

感恩节那天,阿拉塞莉·马丁内斯-拉米雷斯(Aracely Martinez-Ramirez)会穿上一条别人捐赠的红色裙子去到教堂,在那里,她将为大家讲述在过去的几个月中发生在她身上的事。

In August, when Hurricane Harvey flooded Houston, Martinez-Ramirez, 20, led her three little sisters through churning, chest-high water. With no help in sight, she didn’t think they would make it out alive.

8月,哈维飓风使休斯顿洪水泛滥,20岁的马丁内斯-拉米雷斯领着她的三个妹妹行走在不断翻腾的、淹没到胸口的洪水之中。看不到任何援助的她心想,或许她们不能活着走出去了。

When she did, she learned that the storm had destroyed her home, and that the president was considering ending the visa program that allowed her and other young immigrants — so-called Dreamers — to stay in the United States.

她最终生还,却发现飓风已摧毁了她的家,也发现总统正打算终止一项签证项目。该项目让她及其他被称作“梦想者”的年轻移民们能够留在美国。

Everything she had built seemed to be falling apart. Deportation was a possibility.

她曾拥有的一切似乎都支离破碎。她有可能被驱逐出境。

But the Federal Emergency Management Agency came through, she said, providing aid that allowed her family to buy another home. U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services renewed her visa, allowing her to stay.

但是她说,联邦紧急事务管理署(Federal Emergency Management Agency)前来提供了援助,让她们一家能另外购置房屋。美国公民及移民服务局(United States Citizenship and Immigration Services)为她续签了签证,允许她留在美国。

And at a time when anti-immigrant rhetoric seemed to have hit a fever pitch, dozens of people she didn’t know reached out to help. They sent food, clothing, couches, refrigerators and more.

在这样一个反移民言论似乎已到达狂热巅峰的时刻,数十个与她素不相识的人向她伸出了援手。他们送来了食物、衣服、沙发、冰箱等等许多东西。

This is where she sees grace this Thanksgiving.

这是她在这个感恩节中看到的恩惠。

“Nobody cared, or even asked, ‘Are you undocumented? Are you illegal?’ Nobody did that,” she said. “We were in need and they felt in their heart that they were going to help.”

“没有人在意、或甚至去问‘你是不是没有证件?你是非法居留吗?’没人这么说,”她说。“我们正需要帮助,他们由心感到自己想来帮助。”

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