您现在的位置: 纽约时报中英文网 >> 纽约时报中英文版 >> 风尚 >> 正文

隔绝社交生活有什么好处?

更新时间:2017-10-25 20:47:05 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

Is there an upside to having no social life?
隔绝社交生活有什么好处?

The trick to being successful could, in fact, be simple.

成功的秘诀其实很简单。

From my own experience interviewing highly successful artists, writers, and creative entrepreneurs I’ve found one of the most common responses to the question of how they can be so prolific to be, ‘well, I don’t have a social life.’

通过对成功的艺术家、作家和创意满满的企业家进行的采访,我发现他们在回答自己的效率何以如此之高时,给出的最常见的答复之一便是:"我没有社交生活。"

Time sink

时间陷阱

As a freelancer working solo from home, while my housemates head out to work, I justified a very active social life as basic human necessity. Yet when it dawned on me just how much time I was spending socialising, I realised I may be taking it to an extreme.

作为一个独自在家工作的自由职业者,当我的室友外出工作时,我会把积极的社交生活作为人类的基本需求。然而,当我逐渐发现我在社交上花了多少时间后,我开始意识到自己可能有些极端。

I calculated that, on average, I was spending 22 hours or more each week on social activities. So, in a bid to see what would happen to my work output, health and wellbeing, I decided to try and cut out my social life entirely.

我计算了一下,每个星期我花在社交生活上的时间至少是22小时。所以,为了看看我的工作产出、健康和幸福会受到多大影响,我决定彻底取消社交生活。

I knew, at times, I filled my schedule simply out of fear of missing out (FOMO), an inability to say no, but also as a sneaky way to procrastinate or shift focus away from my work.

我知道,有的时候把自己的日程填满纯粹是因为错失恐惧症(FOMO)。这表明我不能说不,但这也会在悄无声息间导致我拖拖拉拉,无法集中精力工作。

For one month, I declined all in-person activities with friends: going out for drinks; coffee catch-ups; dinners; parties and non-work related events, to see if it would make me more productive, improve my focus and career prospects.

我决定抽出一个月的时间推掉现实生活中跟朋友的所有互动,包括出去喝酒、喝咖啡、吃饭、聚会,以及所有跟工作无关的事情。我想看看这样能否提高我的工作效率,集中我的注意力,提升我的职业前景。

Thirty-one days later

31天后

On day one of the month-long experiment, I had to confront some deep-seated anxiety over missing out. For me, FOMO often stems from a tyranny of choice – when there are several enticing options available for a Saturday night, how do I know I’m making the right choice?

实验的第一天,我陷入了深深的焦虑,总是担心错过什么。对我来说,错失恐惧症往往来自艰难的抉择——当周六晚上面临好几个诱人的选择时,我怎么知道自己可以做出正确的选择?

But as the days passed, the FOMO began to subside and I started to relax. I only had one option to consider for Saturday night – to stay home – and this limitation left me more satisfied in my decision. I used to berate myself for staying in on a Friday night or leaving an event too early, but during the experiment I felt more content working, reading or watching Netflix instead of dwelling on the other things I could be doing.

随着日子一天天过去,错失恐惧症开始消退,我也越来越放松。我星期六晚上只有一个选择——待在家里——这项限制让我对自己的决定更加满意。我过去经常因为星期五晚上呆在家里,或者太早离开某个活动而懊悔不已。但在实验期间,我可以在家里工作、阅读或观看Netflix,而不必考虑其他事情,这提升了我的满足感。

A fun-free schedule also allowed for more ‘deep work’ (something computer science professor, Cal Newport, defines as the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task). No longer distracted by what I could be doing, or what fun everyone else was having, I was able to build concentrated pockets of work into my week at times that were usually reserved for socialising, such as spending Friday nights doing admin or Saturday mornings writing in a café.

由于日程表中完全没有娱乐活动,让我可以从事更多"深度工作"(计算机科学教授卡尔·纽珀特(Cal Newport)将此定义为可以集中精力工作、而不会因为一些需要投入认知能力的任务而受到干扰的能力。)由于不再受到其他选择干扰,也不会因为别人的娱乐而分心,让我可以把原先用于社交的时间拿来集中精力处理工作——例如,星期五晚上处理行政工作,或者星期六晚上在咖啡厅写作。

Embrace boredom

拥抱无聊

While I found more time to work, I also noticed a change in my overall health and wellbeing. I found myself cooking more at home, doing daily exercise, getting to bed earlier each night, reading, and relishing moments of rest and boredom throughout the day.

我不仅增加了工作时间,整体的健康程度和幸福感发生了改变。我发现自己在家里做饭的次数增多,而且每天都能锻炼,每晚睡觉的时间也提前了,还能抽出一些时间看看书,享受轻松惬意的生活,甚至偶尔发发呆。

Even with a new-found appreciation for cooking and spin classes, having no social life left me with more free time than I’d imagine, and the boredom and loneliness often associated with ‘doing nothing.’

尽管培养了烹饪和骑车训练两个新爱好,但取消社交生活给我空出的自由时间还是超出我的想象,而无聊和孤独往往与"无所事事"有关。

I came to embrace doing nothing and relish the moments of solitude. I went on meandering walks, sat at cafés without any technology, and found myself daydreaming more frequently as I was no longer attempting to fill every spare moment.

我开始接受无所事事的状态,享受独处的时光。我散步的机会越来越多,去咖啡厅的时候也经常不带科技产品,我白日做梦的频率也越来越高,因为我已经不再试图填满所有空闲时间。

Such idle moments are crucial for creativity, and mind wandering has been linked to creative problem solving. When your mind is able to wander, it is accessing memories, emotions and random bits of stored knowledge, says Amy Fries, author of Daydreams at Work: Wake Up Your Creative Powers and a writer and editor for Psychology Today.

《工作中的白日梦:唤醒你的创造力》(Daydreams at Work: Wake Up Your Creative Powers)一书的作者、《今日心理学》(Psychology Today)的写手兼编辑阿迷·弗雷斯(Amy Fries)表示,这些无聊时刻对创造力至关重要,让思维漫步有助于我们通过创造性的方法来解决问题。当你的思维能够随意漫步时,它就会读取记忆、情绪和随机存储在大脑里的知识。

During the experiment I found myself regularly brainstorming new ideas and reimagining existing projects.

在实验过程中,我发现自己经常能集思广益,想到新的想法,还能重新思考现有的项目。

Doing nothing can be as equally energising as time out spent with people, and is in fact necessary in order to recharge, says Pedro Diaz, CEO of the Workplace Mental Health Institute in Sydney.

悉尼职场心理健康学院(Workplace Mental Health Institute)首席执行官佩德罗·迪亚兹(Pedro Diaz)表示,什么都不做也能像跟朋友出去聚会一样让人精力充沛。这甚至是恢复精力的必要措施。

There is research to support his claim: a 2016 study of 48 people, which measured their mental state, mood, fatigue and stress over 12 days, found that extraverted behaviour raised people’s moods and energy levels – but this behaviour also led to higher fatigue after a three-hour delay. While a small sample, it does support the idea that focused activity – be it socialising, working or studying – takes its toll.

有一项研究可以支持他的说法:2016年对48名志愿者进行的调查,衡量了他们在12天时间里的心理状态、情绪、疲劳和压力状况,结果发现,虽然外向型行为可以提高人们的情绪和活力水平——但这种行为却会在3个小时后引发更强烈的疲劳。虽然样本较小,但的确支持了这样一种想法,即社交、工作和学习等需要集中精力的活动都要付出代价。

This observation raised an important question – perhaps it’s not the amount of socialising or work we engage in that can lead to exhaustion, but the lack of proper breaks from either.

这项观察引发了一个重要问题——真正令我们精疲力竭的或许并不是我们参与的社交活动或工作任务的数量,而是因为在这两种活动中缺乏适当的休息。

“We don't place enough importance on being alone and most people don't even know what they need to do to give their brain and their nervous system a good rest,” says Diaz.

"我们并没有给予独处足够的重视,多数人甚至都不知道应该让自己的大脑和神经系统得到充分的休息。"迪亚兹说。

In a society where busyness is worn as a badge of honour, it can be difficult to decipher if having little-to-no social life is an inevitable consequence of working life, or a way to signal our own importance to others.

在一个以忙碌为荣的社会里,很难判断一个人很少参加甚至从不参加社交活,究竟是因为工作过于繁忙,还是为了以此彰显自己对他人的重要性。

“When you signal you're busy, you’re basically telling others that you are high status and important, not because what you wear is expensive, but [because] you are extremely desired and in high demand,” says Silvia Bellezza, co-author of a Harvard Business School study that argues that and overworked lifestyle, rather than a leisurely lifestyle, has become an aspirational status symbol.

"当你向别人表示自己很忙的时候,相当于告诉他们,你的身份很高,也很重要,但这并不是因为你的穿着多么高贵,而是因为别人都很需要你。"西尔维娅·贝勒扎(Silvia Bellezza)说。她参与撰写了哈佛商学院的一篇报告,该报告认为,这种状态和忙碌不堪的生活方式已经成为人们梦寐以求的身份象征。

The pitfalls of no friends

缺点犹存

The positive effects of solitude – for example, increased clarity of thought and a sense of feeling recharged – would be a concern if I remained isolated in my antisocial bubble at home for too long.

独处的确有很多好处,例如,可以让我的思维更加清晰,还能让我感觉精力充沛。但如果我在自己家这个与社交活动隔绝的泡泡里待的时间太长,也会引发担忧。

For many working in an office environment, socialising is one of the most important elements of working life and people with a ‘best friend’ at work are seven times more likely to engage fully in their work. Workplace camaraderie also creates a common sense of purpose and a social support network that can lead to promotions and professional advice.

对很多需要在办公室里完成的工作而言,社交是工作生活中最终重要的一项因素,而在职场中有"好朋友"的人,全身心投入工作的概率也会提高7倍。职场友情还可以创造共同的使命感,同时编制一张社会支援网络,为你的晋升和职业发展提供建议。

Of course, off-hours socialising is also an important way to build work contacts. While one month of no social life did not impact my relationship with existing clients, if I continued it may have diminished my ability to build new ones.

当然,工作之外的社交活动也是构建职场关系的重要方式。虽然脱离社交生活一个月不会影响我与现有客户的关系,但如果我继续这么做,就有可能减弱我继续寻找新客户的能力。

Work and play

工作和娱乐

Rather than striving for a distinct work-life balance, we may be better off trying to bring our social life into our work. It occurred to me that perhaps the secret to a successful career is not cutting out your social life, but integrating the two.

我们不应该把工作与个人生活完全隔离,而是应该努力把社交生活融入工作。我突然想到,想要拥有一份成功的职业,秘诀或许不是把社交生活与之彻底隔离,而是把二者融为一体。

Ellen Galinsky, co-founder of the Families and Work Institute, has found that people who are dual-centric – having more than one interest or central focus with equivalent priority – are the most satisfied in their lives overall.

家庭与工作学院(Families and Work Institute)联合创始人艾伦·加林斯基(Ellen Galinsky)发现,那些拥有两个中心的人——这些人拥有不止一项同等重要的兴趣或焦点——对生活的整体满意度最高。

“We find that people who are dual-centric tend to be healthier, do better at work and do better at home,” says Galinsky. “If you have just one focus in your life and something goes wrong, it's pretty devastating. If you have other things that are important to you – it might be something creative, playing a sport, community, or having a circle of friends, you tend to do better overall.”

"我们发现,拥有两个中心的人往往更健康,在工作和家庭生活中也都表现地更好。"加林斯基说,"如果你的生活只有一个焦点,那么一旦出现问题,就会令人难以承受。如果还有其他对你重要的事情——或许是有创意的事情、体育运动、团体活动或者朋友圈,你的整体状态往往更好。"

During the experiment, I didn’t simply replace my newfound spare time with extra work but rather became more dual-centric. I was able to build in more concentrated pockets of work where I otherwise wouldn’t, but I also gravitated to activities that were previously neglected – the gym, practising the piano, and meditation.

在实验过程中,我并没有简单地用新增的空余时间来从事工作,而是强化了两个中心的状态。我能够从事一些原本无法集中精力完成的工作,但我也会从事很多以前被我忽视的活动——例如健身、练钢琴和冥想。

I’ve learned that I can’t neatly cut out an area of life in order to propel another – a connection with people is inextricably linked to our work and helps us deal with life’s inevitable ups and downs.

我发现,我不能为了促进一个方面而彻底隔绝生活中的另一个方面——人际关系是我们工作中不可或缺的一部分,这能帮助我们应对生活中不可避免的起起落落。

Post-experiment, I have redefined what success looks like to me – it isn’t all work, or all play, or all balance, but a mix of different engagements within each day, and a steady smattering of breaks in between.

实验结束后,我重新定义了我心目中的成功——既不完全是工作,也不完全是娱乐,甚至不完全是二者之间的平衡,而是每天都将不同的活动融合起来,并在这一过程中稳定地插入零星的休息时间。

“全文请访问纽约时报中文网,本文发表于纽约时报中文网(http://cn.nytimes.com),版权归纽约时报公司所有。任何单位及个人未经许可,不得擅自转载或翻译。订阅纽约时报中文网新闻电邮:http://nytcn.me/subscription/”

相关文章列表