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更新时间:2017-7-30 9:02:32 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

Wow, Trump Can’t Terminate

Pick your favorite irony:


1) Donald Trump turns out to be terrible at firing people.

1) 原来唐纳德·特朗普非常不擅于解雇人。

2) The White House celebrates its “American Heroes Week” by banning transgender volunteers from serving in the military.

2) 白宫通过禁止变性志愿者从军来庆祝“美国英雄周”(American Heroes Week)。

3) Thanks to the president’s harangues, we are actually starting to feel sympathy for Jeff Sessions.

3) 由于总统的斥责,我们居然开始同情杰夫·塞申斯(Jeff Sessions)。

I can definitely understand if you want to pick No. 2, especially since Trump just finished observing “Made in America Week” with an application to hire 70 foreign workers at Mar-a-Lago.


But let’s talk for a minute about the way our president gets rid of unwanted members of his administration. It’s a monument to passive-aggressive ineptitude. With Sessions, Trump has been broadcasting his displeasure to the world for more than a week without making the obvious follow-through.


And this was the guy who made “You’re fired!” his calling card. Clearly, he brought a lot of fiction to reality TV. Clay Aiken, a onetime contestant on “The Celebrity Apprentice,” recently told an interviewer that Trump actually “didn’t decide who got fired on ‘Apprentice,’” and had to be fed his lines by producers.

而这是一个把“你被解雇了”当作自己招牌的人。显然,他给电视真人秀注入了很多虚构。前不久,《名人学徒》(Celebrity Apprentice)的参赛者克雷·艾肯(Clay Aiken)在接受采访时表示,特朗普实际上“在《学徒》中并不能决定谁被解雇,他的台词都是制作人给他的”。

Not exactly a shock, but watching the president in action over recent weeks, you have to wonder how he’d have functioned if he ran that show without prompting.


On Sunday, “Celebrity Apprentice” promises “fireworks” when Donald Trump tells other people he has no confidence in Rhoda, the beleaguered fashion model and ferret breeder. It will be the seventh week in which the real estate superstar has said unpleasant things about Rhoda to her friends, family and American viewers. Tension rises as contestants wait to see if their mentor will continue his strategy or send a bodyguard to deliver the bad news to Rhoda in person.


Trump’s attempts to drive Sessions out of office without actually confronting him began last week with his famous New York Times interview and then escalated through press conferences and the social media (“VERY weak”). In one tweet Trump referred to Sessions as “our beleaguered A.G.” Now “beleaguered” means under attack, and this was sort of like taking a jackhammer to the street in front of your house and then complaining to the city about potholes.


On another occasion Trump said he was “disappointed” in Sessions. This was during a press conference with Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri in which the president took a few questions after praising Hariri for being “on the front lines in the fight against ISIS, Al Qaeda and Hezbollah.” Carping minds noted that Hariri actually has a power-sharing arrangement with Hezbollah, which controls most of the people in his cabinet. But if you wanted a president who was going to split hairs, you should have voted for somebody else.

特朗普还在另一个场合称自己对塞申斯“感到失望”。那是在与黎巴嫩总理萨阿德·哈里里(Saad Hariri)举行的一次新闻发布会上。总统在赞扬哈里里站在“打击伊斯兰国、基地组织和真主党的前沿”后,接受了几个提问。吹毛求疵的人会说,哈里里实际上与真主党共享权力,后者控制他的内阁的大部分成员。但是,如果你想要一位能把细节弄清楚的总统,那么你当初就应该投票选别人。

O.K., I know, I know.


Trump appears completely unaware that he’s beginning to look like the worst terminator in history. Introducing Tom Price, the secretary of health and human services, at an event this week, the president jovially said that Price had better get the health care bill passed through Congress, “otherwise, I’ll say: ‘Tom, you’re fired.’ I’ll get somebody.”

特朗普似乎完全没意识到,他现在看上去像是史上最糟糕的终结者。本周,总统在一场活动上介绍卫生和公共服务部部长汤姆·普赖斯(Tom Price)时打趣说,普赖斯,你最好让国会通过医保法案,“否则我会说,‘汤姆,你被解雇了。’我会聘请别人”。

This was at that Boy Scouts jamboree when Trump did such a great job of impersonating your Uncle Fred Who Gets Drunk at Family Dinners. How many of you think the Boy Scouts have been yearning for the day when the president would come to their big event, tell the teens that their federal government is a “sewer,” recount a long and incoherent story about a real estate developer who went off to make whoopee on his yacht, and brag incessantly about having won the election? On the plus side, Trump did not misrepresent the Scout position on Hezbollah.


Trump has been complaining a lot about Sessions’s lack of loyalty, which might have confused people who remembered that Sessions was the first senator to endorse his presidential campaign, back in February of 2016. You’d think that standing up to fellow Republicans who regarded Trump as a dangerous lunatic should have merited a little bit of long-run gratitude.


Trump cleared all that up, however, in an interview with The Wall Street Journal where he explained that Sessions’s endorsement was “not like a great loyal thing,” but merely an insignificant politician trying to feed off his star power and crowd-drawing charisma. (“He was a senator from Alabama. … He looks at 40,000 people and he probably says, ‘What do I have to lose?’ And he endorsed me.”)

不过,特朗普在接受《华尔街日报》(The Wall Street Journal)采访时澄清了这一点,他说塞申斯的支持“并不是多了不起的忠诚”,只是一名无足轻重的政客想蹭他的明星影响力和吸引观众的魅力(“他是亚拉巴马州的参议员……他看着四万人,很可能心想,‘我有什么好失去的?’所以他选择支持我”)。

Now Trump wants Sessions gone so he can replace him with an attorney general who will fire special counsel Robert Mueller. Sessions can’t do it because he recused himself from all things Russia-related.

现在,特朗普想让塞申斯下台,这样他就能聘用一名可以解雇特别检察官罗伯特·穆勒(Robert Mueller)的司法部长。塞申斯不能这样做,因为他必须回避所有与俄罗斯相关的事务。

Mueller’s probe into the Trump camp’s relationship with Russia terrifies the president, especially if it involves an investigation of Trump family finances. So obviously, we are rooting for Sessions to stay right where he is … and, um, keep persecuting immigrants, ratchet up imprisonments for nonviolent crimes and maybe go back to his old dream of imposing the death penalty on marijuana dealers.


Well, I told you this was about irony.