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泄密者曼宁的孤独之旅(二):幻灭之后的顿悟

更新时间:2017-6-23 11:45:14 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

The Long, Lonely Road of Chelsea Manning
泄密者曼宁的孤独之旅(二):幻灭之后的顿悟

In October 2009, Manning hopped a Black Hawk from Baghdad to Forward Operating Base Hammer, 30 miles east of the city. In the cabin, strapped into the chopper’s jump seats, she began putting names to places that had long been digital abstractions. “I had seen imagery for nine or 10 months prior,” Manning recalled, “I knew the landscape so well from the air that I recognized these neighborhoods, and it woke me up to see people walking around and to see people driving and to see the buildings and the trees below.”

2009年10月,曼宁跳上一架黑鹰直升机,从巴格达飞往该市以东30英里处的哈默前方作战基地。机舱内,被固定在飞机活动座椅上的她开始把一些名字与此前对她而言一直是数字化抽象事物的东西对应起来。“我提前九或十个月就开始看图片,”曼宁回忆说,“我俯瞰下方,由于对那片土地非常了解,我认出了那些社区,激动地看着那里的人们走来走去,看着他们开车,看着那些建筑物和树木。”

Ringed by desert, the low-slung buildings of F.O.B. Hammer baked in the summer and coursed with mud in the fall. Every night, Manning rose from her bunk at 9 p.m., dressed in standard-issue visual camouflage and grabbed her rifle. After quickly eating dinner for breakfast, she walked to a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, or SCIF, to report for duty. Manning’s SCIF was a glorified “plywood box” with lousy airflow, situated on a basketball court. She sat at the free-throw line, in a reclining office chair, where she spent her overnight shift facing three laptop computers. Manning’s isolation took on a new form: Hidden away in the darkened SCIF, she would work for eight hours at a stretch, sifting through reports filed securely by American troops in the field, making sense of the raw data for senior-level intelligence officers. She remained sealed off from actual conflict, though she could hear the shudder of car bombs and sometimes ran into soldiers, dazed and dusty, on their way back from a firefight.

哈默前方作战基地低矮的建筑为沙漠所环绕,夏天被阳光炙烤,秋天尘土飞扬。每天夜里9点,曼宁都会从铺位上起身,穿上标准配发的视觉伪装服,拿起步枪。飞快吃完相当于早餐的晚餐后,她会走进一个“敏感信息隔离设施”(Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility,简称SCIF),开始工作。所谓SCIF其实只是“胶合板箱”的美称,空气流通极度不畅。曼宁的SCIF位于一个篮球场上,她要坐在罚球线边一把有靠背的办公椅上,对着三台笔记本电脑,值一整夜的班。曼宁的与世隔绝有了新形态:她躲在黑暗的SCIF里,一连工作八小时,筛查前线的美国军队通过安全方式提交的报告,为高级情报官员分析整理原始数据。她仍然与真实的冲突保持着距离,尽管她能听见汽车炸弹的爆炸声,有时还会遇到刚跟敌人交过火,晕晕乎乎、风尘仆仆的士兵。

At that early juncture, Manning told me, she was too busy to give much thought to the larger import of what she was seeing. “Doing my job, you couldn’t even really read all the files,” she said. “You have to skim, get a sense of what’s relevant and what’s not.” Still, to an extraordinary extent, she had a more comprehensive view of America’s role in Iraq than the infantry in the field did — often, literally, a sky-level view — and as October ground into November, she found herself increasingly dismayed by a lack of public awareness about what seemed to be a futile, ceaselessly bloody war. “At a certain point,” she told me, “I stopped seeing records and started seeing people”: bloody American soldiers, bullet-ridden Iraqi civilians.

曼宁告诉我,起初,她太忙了,顾不上对大量见闻作太多思考。“干我那份工作,你其实甚至无法看完所有文件,”她说。“你必须快速浏览,明白什么重要、什么无关紧要。”不过,比起前线的步兵,她在很大程度上对美国在伊拉克的角色有了更全面的看法——通常来说,简直是从空中俯瞰般的视角——10月过去,11月到来之际,她发现自己越来越惊愕于公众对这场似乎徒劳无功、无休无止的血腥战争竟然如此缺乏认识。“到了某一时刻,”她告诉我,“我不再看记录,而是开始看人”:流血的美国士兵,中弹的伊拉克平民。

On rare reprieves from the SCIF, Manning accompanied senior officers to meetings with the Iraqi military and the Iraqi federal police, sit-downs that further entrenched her disillusionment. “There would be these tea sessions, where you’ve got the Iraqi federal police in their blue uniforms, you’ve got Iraqi Army in, like, the old chocolate-chip camouflage and the Americans in our smeared green digital camouflage,” Manning said — everyone speaking in different languages, frequently at cross-purposes. “I’d come in thinking things would be black and white. They weren’t.”

极少数情况下,曼宁不必待在SCIF里,而是陪同高级官员去和伊拉克军方以及伊拉克联邦警察局的人会晤,大家团团围坐的场合进一步加深了她的幻灭感。“在那些茶话会上,有身穿蓝色制服的伊拉克联邦警察,有身穿旧巧克力色迷彩服的伊拉克陆军,还有我们,身穿模糊的绿色数码迷彩服的美国人,”曼宁说——每个人都说着不同的语言,常常有着相反的目的,无法沟通。“我本以为事情非黑即白。但事实并非如此。”

Manning told me she heard the name WikiLeaks for the first time in 2008, at a computer security training course at Fort Huachuca. By the end of 2009, she had started logging on to internet relay chat conversations devoted to the site. (I.R.C., a semisecure protocol, was then the preferred method of communication for hackers.) Initially, she was an observer: She was intrigued by the work that Julian Assange and his team were doing, if not quite ready to endorse their argument for total transparency. She told me that she believed then, and believes now, that “there are plenty of things that should be kept secret.” “Let’s protect sensitive sources. Let’s protect troop movements. Let’s protect nuclear information. Let’s not hide missteps. Let’s not hide misguided policies. Let’s not hide history. Let’s not hide who we are and what we are doing.”

曼宁告诉我,她第一次听说维基解密(WikiLeaks)这个名字,是2008年在瓦丘卡堡上计算机安全培训课的时候。到2009年末,她已经开始登陆那个网站的互联网中继聊天室(Internet Relay Chat,简称IRC,一种半加密协议,是黑客们当时颇为青睐的交流方式)。起初,她是一个观察者:她被朱利安·阿桑奇及其团队正在做的工作深深吸引,但不太认同他们关于绝对透明的观点。她告诉我她当时认为——现在也依然认为——“很多事情都应该保密。”“敏感信源要受到保护。军队的行动要受到保护。核信息要受到保护。但我们不该掩盖过失。不该掩盖政策失误,不该掩盖历史。不该掩盖我们是谁、我们在做什么。”

She was edging closer to acting but said nothing about the I.R.C. channel to her friends at F.O.B. Hammer, nor about her own personal tumult. She was now fighting to keep what amounted to two life-altering secrets. She couldn’t discuss her identity openly: The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was still in effect, and it would be years before transgender people were allowed to openly enlist. “I binge watched TV shows on the internet,” she said. “I was smoking heavily. I was drinking an enormous amount of caffeine. I was going to the dining facility and eating as much as I could. Just any little tiny escape or way to feel like I’m not there anymore.” Her boyfriend was little help: Manning could feel him slipping away. “I was in denial about it, but I had a sense ... that I was being forgotten,” she told me.

她即将采取行动,但从未跟哈默前方作战基地的朋友们谈起那个IRC频道,也未谈起她自己内心的动荡。她现在正奋力保有两个堪称可以改变人生的秘密。她不能公开讨论自己的性别认同:“不要问,不要说”的政策当时尚未废除,要再过好几年,跨性别人士才会获准光明正大地报名参军。“我在网上猛刷剧集。我抽烟抽得很凶。我喝大量咖啡。我去餐厅尽可能多地吃东西。只是想逃避片刻,或者制造某种解脱之感。”她的男友基本没帮上什么忙:曼宁能感觉到他离自己越来越远。“我不愿承认,但我有种感觉……我正在被遗忘,”她告诉我。

Manning had a two-week leave coming up. She planned to spend time in Boston, trying to patch things up with Watkins, and in the suburbs of Washington with her aunt. She dreamed about using the occasion to come out to her family and friends as trans. “I kept having this moment in my head,” she told me, “where I just yell it at the top of my lungs.” But she knew, in her heart, that she’d never be able to go through with it.

曼宁接下来有两周的假期。她打算去波士顿,设法和沃特金斯重拾旧好,还要去华盛顿郊区探望姑妈。她梦想着利用这个机会,以跨性别人士的身份向家人和朋友出柜。“我在脑海中不停想象着这样的时刻,”她告诉我,“把事情高声说出来。”但她心里清楚,她永远也无法闯过这一关。

Before leaving F.O.B. Hammer, Manning downloaded, from the government’s Combined Information Data Network Exchange, almost every SigActs report from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and burned a compressed version of the data onto CD-RW discs, one of which was labeled “Lady Gaga.” She did it in full view of her fellow soldiers. But what she did next violated the most important precepts she was taught at Fort Huachuca, along with the Oath of Enlistment she swore in 2007: She uploaded the contents of the discs onto the personal laptop she planned to take home to the United States. She had not decided what she would do with the data.

离开哈默前方作战基地前,曼宁从政府的综合信息数据网络交换(Combined Information Data Network Exchange)系统中下载了几乎所有的来自阿富汗和伊拉克战争的重大行动报告,并把经过压缩的数据烧制在CD-RW光盘上,其中一个光盘被标注为“Lady Gaga”。这一切都是在战友们的眼皮底下进行的。但她接下来做的事情违背了她在瓦丘卡堡学到的最重要的戒律,也违背了她2007年的入伍誓言:她把光盘上的内容传到了她打算带回美国的私人笔记本电脑上。她尚未决定要拿这些数据怎么办。

Days later, Manning put on a blond wig and ran in a low crouch from the side door of her aunt’s house, out of view of the neighbors, and drove to the train station. She wore a dark coat and, under it, business-casual woman’s wear she bought at a local department store; she claimed it was for her friend who needed it for a job interview. In Washington, she went to a Starbucks, ate lunch at a busy restaurant and wandered through the aisles of a bookstore; later, she climbed back on the Metro and rode it aimlessly around. She took great pleasure in being seen as she knew she was and comfort in how easily she passed — rarely did anyone give her a second glance.

几天后,曼宁避开邻居们的目光,戴着一顶金色假发,伏下身子从姑妈家的侧门跑出来,开车前往火车站。她穿着一件深色外套,里面是在当地一家百货商店买的女士商务便装——她当时声称是买给一个要去参加工作面试的朋友。在华盛顿,她去了星巴克,到一家人满为患的餐厅吃了午餐,在一个书店的过道里走来走去;随后,她回到地铁上,乘地铁漫无目的地转悠。她极度欣喜于被视作一个知道自己是谁的人,轻轻松松与人擦肩而过的感觉让她颇为自在——很少有谁多看她一眼。

“Before I deployed, I didn’t have the guts,” Manning, who was then privately referring to herself as Brianna, told me. But her time in Iraq was changing her. “Being exposed to so much death on a daily basis makes you grapple with your own mortality,” she went on. She no longer wanted to hide.

“被派驻到伊拉克之前,我没有这种勇气,” 曼宁告诉我,当时,她在私下里管自己叫布里安娜(Brianna)。但在伊拉克度过的时光改变了她。“每天看到那么多人死去,会促使你去思考自己生命的有限,”她继续说道。她不想再躲藏。

The expedition was the high point of a disappointing two-week leave. The Army had bumped up her departure from F.O.B. Hammer, and her family hadn’t had time to readjust their schedules: Manning’s aunt was on a trip abroad, and her sister had just had her first child — it would be tricky to carve out time for Chelsea. Manning took a train up to see Watkins at his home in Waltham, in Massachusetts, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t really want her there, so she cut her stay short by three days.

这次出行是令人失望的两周假期的高光时刻。美国陆军批准曼宁离开哈默前方作战基地更长时间,她的家人来不及调整他们的安排,很难为切尔西抽出时间——姑妈正在国外旅行,姐姐刚生了第一个孩子。曼宁乘火车赶到沃特金斯位于马萨诸塞州沃尔瑟姆的家中去看他,但她总觉得对方其实并不想让她待在那儿,于是她把逗留时间缩短了三天。

At that point, it would have been possible for Manning to return to Iraq with the files unshared — her actions had been illegal, if reversible. But Manning told me that being in the United States had prompted an epiphany. At home, she says, she realized how invisible the wars had become to most civilians, whose awareness of Iraq extended as far as the occasional newspaper article or chyron on cable news. “There were two worlds,” she said. “The world in America, and the world I was seeing [in Iraq],” She went on, “I wanted people to see what I was seeing.”

那时候,曼宁仍有可能带着未被泄露的文件返回伊拉克——即便她取消了自己的行动,也已经是非法的。但曼宁告诉我,身在美国令她产生了顿悟。她说,在国内她意识到,大多数民众根本看不到战争的真相,他们对伊拉克的了解不会超出报纸偶尔发表的文章或者有线电视新闻的字幕。“存在着两个世界,”她说。“美国的世界,以及我(在伊拉克)看到的世界,”她继续说道。“我想让人们看到我看到的世界。”

A blizzard hit Washington. Manning’s aunt still wasn’t back from vacation. Alone, Manning transferred parts of the files to a small memory card and prepared an anonymous text file she wanted to accompany the information. “This is possibly one of the more significant documents of our time removing the fog of war and revealing the true nature of twenty-first century asymmetric warfare,” she wrote. “Have a good day.”

一场暴风雪袭击了华盛顿。曼宁的姑妈仍然在外度假。曼宁独自把部分文件传到一张小小的存储卡上,并准备了一份她想要随这些信息一起发出的匿名文本文件。“这可能是关于我们这个时代的最重要的文件之一,它能拨开战争的迷雾,揭示21世纪不对等战争的真实本质,”她写道。“祝好。”

Manning told me her decision to provide the information to WikiLeaks was a practical one: She originally planned to deliver the data to The New York Times or The Washington Post, and for the last week of her leave, she dodged from public phone to public phone, calling the main office lines for both papers, leaving a message for the public editor at The Times and engaging in a frustrating conversation with a Post writer, who said she would have to know more about the files before her editor would sign off on an article. A hastily arranged meeting with Politico, where she hoped to introduce herself to the site’s security bloggers, was scrapped because of bad weather. “I wanted to try to establish a contact in a way that it couldn’t be traced to me,” Manning told me. But she was running out of time. She describes a clearheaded sense of purpose coming over her: “I needed to do something,” she told me. “And I didn’t want anything to stop that.”

曼宁告诉我,她把信息提供给维基解密是出于实际的考虑:她原先计划把这些数据交给《纽约时报》或《华盛顿邮报》(The Washington Post)。在休假结束前的最后一周,她换了一个又一个公用电话,给两家报纸的总办公室打电话,给时报的公众编辑留言,还与《华盛顿邮报》的一位作者进行过一次让人沮丧的通话,后者告诉她,她必须对那些文件有更多的了解,编辑才能决定做一篇报道。她也曾与《政治》(Politico)杂志匆忙约定过一次会面,但后来因为天气不好被取消了,她原本希望在那次会面中把自己介绍给这家网站的安全博客作者。“我想尽力建立起一种追踪不到我的关系,”曼宁告诉我。但她没有时间了。她说有一种清晰无误的使命感占据了她的身心:“我需要做点什么,”她对我讲道。“什么也不能阻挡。”

On Feb. 3, 2010, Manning signed onto her laptop and, using a secure file-transfer protocol, sent the files to WikiLeaks.

2010年2月3日,曼宁登陆自己的笔记本电脑,用一个安全文件传输协议把文件发给了维基解密。

Back at F.O.B. Hammer, time sped up; everything seemed to be happening at once. Manning had been away two full weeks, and there was a lot to catch up on — “I had to triple my work,” Manning told me. There had been no sign that WikiLeaks received her files, nor any indication that the Army knew anything was amiss. She remembers being in a perpetual state of heightened anxiety. She slept less, smoked more.

回到哈默基地,事情的进展加快了;一切好像是同时安生了。曼宁离开了整整两周,有许多东西需要跟上的——“我得干三倍的活,”曼宁告诉我。没有迹象显示维基解密收到了她的文件,也没有任何迹象表明美国军队知道出了问题。她记得自己当时始终处在极度焦虑的状态。睡得更少,烟抽得更凶了。

In mid-February, on break from the SCIF, she noticed an interesting thread on the WikiLeaks I.R.C. channel, where participants were discussing the financial crisis in Iceland — a collapse that Manning, reading through the library of secure diplomatic cables available to her as an analyst, concluded was roiling onward because of the inaction of the United States and what she described as diplomatic bullying by the Netherlands and Britain. “From my perspective, it appeared that we were not getting involved due to the lack of long-term geopolitical benefit to do so,” she would later testify. Following the same steps as before, she leaked several diplomatic cables pertaining to the Iceland crisis to WikiLeaks; this time, within hours, WikiLeaks published the documents. Manning was thrilled: If the cables had reached WikiLeaks, the much larger leak of SigActs had almost certainly made it, too.

2月中的一次在SCIF的休息时间,她注意到维基解密的IRC频道上出现了一条有趣的对话串,参与者们在里面讨论冰岛的金融危机——这是曼宁通过阅览她作为分析师所能获得的安全外交电报得出的结论,认为这种崩溃正在蔓延,原因是美国不作为,以及她所说的荷兰和英国的外交霸凌。“在我看来,我们没有介入,是因为这么做从长远看没有什么地缘政治上的好处,”她在后来作证时说。依据与之前相同的步骤,她又给维基解密泄露了好几份与冰岛危机有关的外交电报;这一次,维基解密不到几个小时就发布了这些文件。曼宁感到十分兴奋:如果这些外交电报被维基解密收到了,那么几乎可以肯定,之前发的比这大的多的有关重要信息的泄密文件应该也收到了。

Around this time, Manning had several I.R.C. conversations with a person whom Manning identified in her online address book as “Nathaniel Frank,” after the author of the book “Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America.” Frank was almost certainly Assange, although Manning declined to discuss the matter with me — the bulk of the chats are classified and could be used in future legal actions against Assange.

差不多在这个时候,曼宁与某个人进行了几次IRC聊天。在曼宁的在线地址簿上,她称此人为“纳撒尼尔·弗兰克”(Nathaniel Frank),名字来源于《非己方火力:同性恋禁令如何破坏了军队,削弱了美国》(Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America)一书的作者。几乎可以肯定,弗兰克就是阿桑奇,不过曼宁拒绝和我讨论这个问题——大部分聊天内容是机密,在未来的法律诉讼中,可能被用于对付阿桑奇。

Manning followed the transmissions of the SigActs and the Iceland cables with a leak that was harder to ignore. Published by WikiLeaks under the title “Collateral Murder,” the three-year-old video, captured by a camera mounted on an American helicopter, showed two gunships approaching a group of men in an area where there had been reports of small-arms fire. The helicopter crew repeatedly requests permission to engage — “Let us shoot!” a voice is heard saying — before receiving it and opening fire. In total, at least a dozen people were killed in the 2007 strike, including several civilians and two staff members of the Reuters news agency. Manning says she knew that Reuters, under the Freedom of Information Act, had asked the United States government for a copy of the video but never received it. This was symptomatic, she said, of the worst impulses of a government obsessed with blanket classification. “It makes sense to keep some information secret for a few days, maybe a few years,” she told me. “The problem is, more and more, everything is secret by default.”

在散播重大行动和冰岛电报之后,曼宁泄露了另一个更难忽视的机密。维基解密以《附带的谋杀》(Collateral Murder)为题,公布了那个三年前拍摄的视频。它是被安装在美国直升机上的一个摄像机拍到的。视频显示,在一个报告发生了轻武器交火的区域,两架武装直升机向一群人靠近。直升机上的人员多次要求准许进攻——“咱们开火吧!”有一个声音说道——而后,他们获得准许,开始开火。2007年的这次袭击总共至少导致十几人死亡,包括几个平民和路透社的两名工作人员。曼宁表示,她知道路透社曾根据《信息自由法》(Freedom of Information Act)要求美国政府提供视频拷贝,但从未收到过。她说,这是一个痴迷于全盘保密的政府最恶劣冲动的表现。“让某些信息保密几天、甚至几年是合理的,”她对我说。“问题是,慢慢地,一切都被默认为是机密。”

In long chat threads, Manning’s relationship with Nathaniel Frank deepened. She warmed to the role of truth-teller, handing over a small library of Detainee Assessment Briefs, or D.A.B.s, from the American holding facility at Guantánamo Bay. “Living such an opaque life, has forced me never to take transparency, openness and honesty for granted,” she wrote the former hacker Adrian Lamo, whom Manning had reached out to as a confessor and who was, unknown to Manning, already working with government investigators.

在漫长的聊天过程中,曼宁与纳撒尼尔·弗兰克的关系加深了。曼宁喜欢上了自己作为真相讲述者的角色,交出了关塔那摩湾美国拘押中心的一小份《拘留人员评估简报》(Detainee Assessment Briefs,简称DAB)。“这样一个不透明的环境已经迫使我决不把透明、公开和诚实当成是理所当然的,”她曾向前黑客阿德里安·拉莫(Adrian Lamo)写道。曼宁是把拉莫当作倾诉对象而跟他联系的,并不知道他已经在与政府调查者合作。

Privately, however, she was coming apart. Army investigators looking into her case would later detail several episodes of what they termed “bizarre behavior,” including blank stares and an incident in which Manning was found on the floor of a supply room, having carved the words “I WANT” into a nearby chair. She recalled that the unit, as a whole, was “on edge,” breaking out into verbal arguments and brawls. Their deployment was coming to an end, “and that’s when people start getting sick of each other and the personal animosity breaks out.”

不过,当时在私下里,她已经在崩溃。调查她的案件的军方调查人员后来披露了几个他们称为“怪异行为”的细节,包括她迷茫的眼神,还有一次,曼宁被发现在一间库房的地板上往旁边的椅子上刻下“我想”(I WANT)的字样。她回忆说,当时整个小组都“紧张不安”,经常爆发言语争论和争吵。他们的行动正接近尾声,“人们开始厌倦彼此,个人敌意开始爆发”。

In April, Manning emailed an Army superior a photo of her as Brianna that she took in Washington while on leave. “Now I knew who I was,” Manning told me. “But the people I’m around the most didn’t.” She titled the email “My Problem.” The issue of her gender identity was “not going away,” she wrote. “Now, the consequences of it are dire.” (Manning said her captain confirmed receipt of the email but “swept it under the rug.”)

4月,曼宁用电子邮件向军队上级发送了一张休假时在华盛顿拍的照片,上面是她打扮成布里安娜的样子。“现在我知道自己是谁,”曼宁告诉我。她写道:“但是我身边的大多数人不知道,”她的电子邮件标题是“我的问题”。她的性别认同问题是“不会消失的”,她写道。“现在,它已经带来严重后果。”(曼宁说,她的队长确认收到了这封电子邮件,但“把它当丑事瞒下来了”。)

Manning told me that she had resolved, in May, to go public with her role as whistle-blower, even as she was wrestling with how to express her gender identity. She was never able to settle on an approach. At the end of May, she was summoned to a conference room, where two agents from the Army Criminal Investigation Division were waiting. Manning was terrified, but she tried not to show it: “I was focused inward at that time: who I am, what my values are,” she recalled. She retreated “inside [her] head.” Days later, she was shackled, flown to Camp Arfijan in Kuwait and locked in a large steel cage. Kneeling down, she read the engraved words on the bars: Made in Fort Wayne.

曼宁告诉我,在5月,她已经决心以告密者的身份面对公众,但她仍在努力解决如何表达自己的性别认同这个问题。她一直无法确定该怎么做。五月底,她被叫进一个会议室,两名来自陆军刑事调查处的特工在那里等着她。曼宁很害怕,但是她努力没把恐惧表现出来:“当时我把精力集中在内心深处:我是谁,我的价值观是什么,”她回忆。她撤退到了自己的“头脑之中”。几天后,她被铐起来,坐飞机前往科威特的阿瑞坎军营,被锁进一个大钢笼里。她跪倒在地,读到栏杆上刻着的字:韦恩堡制造。

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