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特朗普的美利坚联合酋长国

更新时间:2017-6-2 12:16:44 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

Trump’s United American Emirate
特朗普的美利坚联合酋长国

SEOUL, South Korea — President Trump’s trip to Europe was truly historic.

韩国首尔——特朗普总统的欧洲行真的颇具历史意义。

He left our most important allies there so uncertain about America’s commitment to their security from Russia and to shared values on trade and climate change that German leader Angela Merkel was prompted to tell her countrymen that Europe’s days of relying on America are “over to a certain extent,” and therefore Germany and its European allies “really must take our fate into our own hands.”

他让我们在欧洲最重要的盟友们极不确定美国是否会坚守帮他们抵御俄罗斯的安全承诺,也不确定美国是否会坚守关于贸易和气候变化的共同价值观,以至于德国领导人安格拉·默克尔(Angela Merkel)告诉国人,欧洲依赖美国的日子“在某种程度上结束了”,德国与它的欧洲盟友们“真的必须把命运掌控在自己手中”。

No U.S. president before had ever put a crack in the Atlantic alliance on his inaugural tour. Historic.

此前从没有哪位美国总统在就职之初的外事访问中给北约制造过裂痕。历史性的一幕啊。

Merkel is just the first major leader to say out loud what every American ally is now realizing: America is under new management. “Who is America today?” is the first question I’ve been asked on each stop through New Zealand, Australia and South Korea. My answer: We’re not the U.S.A. anymore. We’re the new U.A.E.: the United American Emirate.

美国的所有盟友现在都意识到,美国有了新的管理方式,而默克尔只是第一个把想法大声说出来的主要领导人。“今天的美国是个什么国家?”在访问新西兰、澳大利亚和韩国期间,我每到一处,首先就会被问及这个问题。我的答案是:我们不再是USA(美利坚合众国)。我们是崭新的UAE:美利坚联合酋长国(United American Emirate)。

We have an emir. His name is Donald. We have a crown prince. His name is Jared. We have a crown princess. Her name is Ivanka. We have a consultative council (Congress) that rubber-stamps whatever the emir wants. And like any good monarchy, our ruling family sees no conflict of interest between its personal businesses and those of the state.

我们有一位酋长。他的名字叫唐纳德。我们有一位王储。他的名字叫贾里德(Jared)。我们有一位公主。她的名字叫伊万卡(Ivanka)。我们还有一个顾问委员会(国会),它会例行公事地盖章批准酋长的任何意愿。而且像所有真正的君主政体一样,我们的统治家族认为自己的私人生意和国家利益之间没有任何冲突。

So any lingering Kennedyesque thoughts about us should be banished, I explained. Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay no price, bear no burden, meet no hardship, support no friend, oppose no foe to assure the success of liberty — unless we’re paid in advance. And we take cash, checks, gold, Visa, American Express, Bitcoin and memberships in Mar-a-Lago.

因此,我解释道,任何拿肯尼迪时代的老眼光看待我们的想法都可以休矣。所有国家不管是盼着我们好还是希望我们倒霉,他们都应该知道,我们不会为了确保自由的胜利而付出任何代价、承担任何责任、直面任何困难、支持任何盟友、反对任何敌人——除非我们预先拿到报酬。我们可以接受现金、黄金、维萨(Visa)信用卡、美国运通(American Express)信用卡、比特币和马阿拉歌庄园的会员卡。

The Trump doctrine is very simple: There are just four threats in the world: terrorists who will kill us, immigrants who will rape us or take our jobs, importers and exporters who will take our industries — and North Korea. Threats to democracy, free trade, the environment and human rights are no longer on our menu. Therefore, no matter how unsavory you are as a foreign leader, you can be the United American Emirate’s best friend if you:

特朗普的信条很简单。世界上只有四种威胁:会杀死我们的恐怖分子;会强奸我们或者抢走我们工作的移民;会损害我们的产业的进出口商——还有就是朝鲜。那些威胁着民主制度、自由贸易、环境和人权的东西已经不在我们的单子上了。因此,作为一名外国领导人的你不论多么令人讨厌,都可以成为美利坚联合酋长国最好的朋友,只要你:

1.) Pay us by buying our weapons. I warn you, though, Saudi Arabia has set the bar very high, starting at $110 billion.

1)通过购买我们的武器来支付报酬。不过,我要警告你,沙特阿拉伯已经树立了一个极高的标杆:1100亿美元起步。

2.) Pay us in higher defense spending for NATO — not to deter Russia, which is using cyberwarfare to disrupt every democratic election it can, but to deter “terrorism,” something that tanks and planes are useless against.

2)通过多支付北约防务费用来支付报酬——不是为震慑正借助网络武器尽其所能地破坏每一场民主选举的俄罗斯,而是为了震慑“恐怖主义”,这种让坦克和飞机无用武之地的东西。

3.) Pay us in trade concessions. And it doesn’t matter how lame those concessions are. All that matters is that Emir Trump can claim “concessions.” See the recent “trade concessions” to Trump from China. (Pay no attention to that laughter from Beijing.)

3)通过给予贸易上的让步来支付报酬。不论这些让步多差劲都没关系。唯一重要的是特朗普酋长可以声称获得了“让步”。参见中国最近给予特朗普的“贸易让步”。(别去管从北京传来的笑声。)

4.) Pay us by freeing any U.S. citizen you arrested on trumped-up charges to annoy Barack Obama and to intimidate human rights activists. See Egypt’s President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi’s release of a U.S.-Egyptian charity worker, Aya Hijazi, who was working with homeless children.

4)通过释放你为了惹恼贝拉克·奥马巴(Barack Obama),或是恐吓人权活动人士而以莫须有罪名逮捕的美国公民来支付报酬。参见埃及总统阿卜杜勒-法塔赫·塞西(Abdel Fattah el-Sisi)释放具有美国和埃及双重国籍、为无家可归儿童提供帮助的慈善工作者阿亚·赫加齐(Aya Hijazi)。

5.) Pay us by grossly flattering our emir about how much of an improvement he is over Obama. See President Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines and Bibi Netanyahu of Israel.

5)通过大力奉承我们的酋长,说他比奥巴马强了不是一点半点来支付报酬。参见菲律宾总统罗德里戈·杜特地(Rodrigo Duterte)和以色列总统比比·内塔尼亚胡(Bibi Netanyahu)。

6.) Be Russia, and you pay nothing.

6)成为俄罗斯,这样你就不必支付任何报酬。

Now, if you do any one of these six things the United American Emirate’s commitment to you — and it’s ironclad — is that you can do anything you want “out back.” You can deprive your people of whatever human rights you like out back. You can be as corrupt as you want out back. You can steal as many elections as you like out back. Just keep the arms purchases coming, the NATO dues rising, the phony trade concessions flowing and the compliments gushing — or be Vladimir Putin — and anything goes.

现在,只要你做到上述六件事中的任何一件,美利坚联合酋长国就会向你承诺——这一回是牢不可破的——你在自家“后院”里想怎样就可以怎样。你在自家后院想剥夺民众的什么人权就可以剥夺什么人权。你在自家后院想多腐败就可以多腐败。你在自家后院想靠作弊赢多少选举就可以赢多少选举。你只要源源不断地购买武器、支付更高的北约会费、给予掺假的贸易让步、奉上大量赞美之词——或者成为弗拉基米尔·普京(Vladimir Putin)——就可以百无禁忌了。

Too harsh? Not at all. Being in Korea and seeing how much this country has grown out of poverty over the last 50 years by adopting all of our values — so much so that it just impeached its president for corruption after a peaceful “candlelight” mass protest based entirely on American democratic software — it makes you weep to think that virtually the only thing Trump’s had to say about Korea is that it’s a freeloader on our army (not even true) and needs to pay up.

我说话太尖刻?一点也不。身在韩国,我看到这个国家在过去50年来靠着吸纳我们的全部价值观成功摆脱了贫穷——它非常忠于这些价值观,前不久刚刚在一场大规模的“烛光”和平抗议之后,以腐败为由弹劾了自己的总统,这是完全建立在美式民主软件基础之上的——再想到特朗普一提起韩国,要说的其实只有一件事:它白占了我们的军队的便宜(而且这话根本不对)、需要把账付清,这真会让你唏嘘不已。

Does Trump have a point that German economic policies have dampened its imports and disadvantaged southern Europe? Yes, he does. And NATO members should fulfill the alliance’s long-term spending targets. But how much is Germany spending to absorb one million Syrian refugees so they won’t be joining ISIS? How much security is that buying the world? The U.S. took 18,000 Syrians. Trump’s friend Putin took zero, but Trump never thinks about such things.

特朗普说德国的经济政策抑制了该国的进口,让南欧处于不利地位,他的话有道理吗?是的,他有道理。而且北约成员国的确应该为实现北约的长期支出目标尽义务。但德国接收了100万叙利亚难民,这样一来他们就不会加入伊斯兰国(ISIS),德国为此花了多少钱?它这样做为世界换取了多少安全感?美国接收了1.8万叙利亚人。特朗普的朋友普京一个也没接收,但特朗普永远也不会考虑这些事情。

It took us decades to build the Atlantic alliance and it has brought us so many tangible and intangible benefits in the form of security, stability, growth and friendships. Trump could actually break it, not just crack it.

我们用几十年的时间打造了北约,它给我们在安全、稳定、发展和友谊方面带来了太多有形和无形的好处。而特朗普不仅可以给它制造裂痕,其实还可以让它分崩离析。

This week for the first time I saw the official photographs that now grace the entry halls of all U.S. embassies. Vice President Mike Pence is smiling warmly. Trump is actually scowling. If his picture had a caption, it would be: “Get off my lawn.”

这个星期,我第一次看到了现今装点着所有美国大使馆门厅的官方照片。副总统麦克·彭斯(Mike Pence)脸上挂着温暖的笑容。而特朗普实际上是在皱眉头。如果他的照片有图说,应该是“滚出我的草坪”。

It could also say: “Let all who enter this embassy know: We don’t do alliances any more. We only do Master Limited Partnerships. Interested? Call 1-202-456-1414. Operators are standing by.”

它还可以传递这样的意思:“所有进入这个使馆的人都要明白:我们不再结盟了。我们只搞“业主有限合伙制企业”。如有兴趣,请拨打1-202-456-1414,接线员正恭候你的来电”。

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