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如何显得更有威严?请听斯坦福心理学家的建议

更新时间:2017-3-24 10:51:15 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

How to Project Power
如何显得更有威严?请听斯坦福心理学家的建议

‘‘Keep your limbs away from your body,’’ says Deborah H Gruenfeld, a social psychologist who teaches at Stanford University. Some research shows that people posed in expansive postures feel more powerful, exhibit higher testosterone levels and have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol — all characteristics of high-ranking social status. Make eye contact while you’re talking, but feel free to look away when others do. This is what scientists call having a high ‘‘look-speak to look-listen ratio,’’ which is common for dominant members of groups.

“伸展四肢,”在斯坦福大学任教的社会心理学专家黛博拉·H·格林菲尔德(Deborah H.Gruenfeld)说。一些研究表明,保持四肢伸展的姿势的人会觉得自己权力更大,体内的睾丸酮水平更高,压力荷尔蒙皮质醇水平更低。这些都是社会地位高的特征。与人交谈时要有目光接触,但当对方看向别处时,你也可以这么做。这就是科学家所说的,“注视-发言与注视-倾听比率”很高,在群体中的重要成员身上,这种特征很常见。

Gruenfeld spent decades studying the psychology of power, but she found that her students were flummoxed. They understood the research but couldn’t figure out how to be more authoritative in their own lives. ‘‘It occurred to me that this is what actors do all the time: They show up in character and convincingly act like people they are not,’’ she says. So in 2008, she and a theater instructor began offering a class at the Stanford business school called Acting With Power. To her surprise, the class did not appeal to just women and international students. Olympic athletes also showed up, as well as ‘‘overprivileged, overeducated white guys and pretty much everyone else,’’ she says.

格林菲尔德曾用数十年时间研究权力心理学,但她发现学生们对此感到困惑。他们明白研究结果,却不知道如何在生活中显得更有权威。“我突然想到,这就是演员一直在做的事情:他们以角色的身份出现,像所扮演的角色那样行事,令人信服,但那些角色并不是他们本人,”她说。于是2008年,她和一位戏剧老师开始在斯坦福商学院开设一门名为“权力的表现”(Acting With Power)的课程。令她惊讶的是,被这门课吸引的不仅是女性和国际学生。她说,还有奥运会运动员,以及“拥有过多特权,受过太多教育的白人,几乎是各种人”。

Don’t bother overexplaining yourself. Speak succinctly. Take ownership of the space around you, whether it’s a boardroom or a cubicle. ‘‘Say to yourself: ‘This is my room. This is my table. This is my audience,’ ’’ Gruenfeld says. Most people, women especially, tend to underestimate their standing and worry about being pushy and bossy long before others perceive that to be the case.

不要费心做过多解释。言简意赅。取得周围空间的所有权,不管是董事会会议室还是格子间。“对自己说:‘这是我的房间。这是我的桌子。这是我的听众,’”格林菲尔德说。大部分人,尤其是女性,往往会低估自己的地位,早在别人认为他们强势、霸道之前,就担心自己表现得强势、霸道。

You can achieve influence over others by being intimidating and aggressive, but Gruenfeld encourages her students to consider the duties that come with power. ‘‘Think of yourself as a protector,’’ she tells them. This is especially true for women working in male-dominated environments like Silicon Valley. ‘‘I have in mind the queen,’’ Gruenfeld says. ‘‘She has dignity and respect, and she makes people feel safe, but underneath her cape is a sword.’’

你可以表现得居高临下、咄咄逼人,以此对他人施加影响,但格林菲尔德鼓励她的学生考虑伴随着权力而来的责任。“把自己当成保护者,”她对学生们说。对于在硅谷这样以男性为主导的环境中工作的女性来说,更是如此。“我脑海里想到的是女王,”格林菲尔德说。“她庄重,受人尊敬,她让人们感到安全,但她的披肩下是一把剑。”

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