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永别了,白宫的幽默大师

更新时间:2016-11-29 11:02:03 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

A Farewell to the Comedian in Chief
永别了,白宫的幽默大师

I miss him already. Miss his steady rationality, his I-got-this mien, the eight years without a hint of personal scandal. And not to be overlooked, I miss the wit of Barack Obama. No president has had a better comic sensibility.

我已经开始想念他了。想念他一贯的理智,他自信的神情,以及没有丝毫个人丑闻的八年。还有一点不容忽视:我想念贝拉克·奥巴马的风趣。他的喜剧触觉在历任总统中无人能及。

Let’s face it: we’re going to need to laugh to get through the presidency of Donald Trump and the Monster’s Ball of his administration. Trump can’t tell a joke, nor can he take one. He was graceless and unfunny at the Al Smith dinner last month, getting booed for his boorishness. And he was petulant and petty with his tweet after a “Saturday Night Live” skit had him asking Siri about the Islamic State.

面对现实吧:我们将需要大笑着熬过唐纳德·特朗普(Donald Trump)的总统任期,经受他的政府的“魔鬼之锤”(Monster’s Ball,该片的常用中文译名为《死囚之舞》。——译注)。他不会讲也听不懂笑话。在上个月的阿尔·史密斯(Al Smith)晚宴上,他既没风度,也不风趣,他的粗鲁引发嘘声。得知《周六夜现场》(Saturday Night Live)的小品说他要向Siri询问伊斯兰国(Islamic State)后,他在Twitter上的发言非常暴躁和哀怨。

Thankfully, jokes at the expense of the highest office in the land are fully protected by the Constitution. But jokes coming from the occupant of that office are rare, and rarely funny. Obama is the exception.

幸好,拿这个国家最大的官开涮是受宪法保护的。不过,这个官本身很少开玩笑,开了也很少好笑。奥巴马是个例外。

Anyone can write a joke. Few can deliver one. Obama has great timing, and a sense of self-deprecation honed over years of making fun of his name and his ears.

谁都会写笑话。但很少有人会讲笑话。奥巴马很会把握时机,而且很会自嘲,这是他多年来拿自己的名字和耳朵开玩笑磨练出来的。

Here’s a highlight reel to call upon during the coming White House humor drought:

眼看白宫幽默即将迎来干涸期,以下是一些可供回味的精彩瞬间:

While being interviewed for a post-presidency job not long ago, an employer played by Stephen Colbert was skeptical that Obama had any useful skills. “I did win the Nobel Peace Prize,” said the president.

前不久在采访中谈到卸任后的工作时,斯蒂芬·科尔伯特(Stephen Colbert)饰演的雇主对奥巴马是否掌握有用技能表示质疑。“我倒是赢得了诺贝尔和平奖(Nobel Peace Prize),”总统说。

“Oh, what was that for?”

“哦,那是因为什么呢?”

“To be honest, I don’t know,” said Obama.

“坦白地说,我不知道,”奥巴马说。

You would think that having your legitimacy challenged would make you Nixonian dark or Trumpian enraged. For Obama, the birther nonsense has given him some of his best material. So there he was in a video for the White House Correspondents Dinner, waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles to get a driver’s license.

你可以想像,如果自己的政治遗产遭到质疑,尼克松那类人会脸色阴沉,特朗普之流会大光其火。而对奥巴马来说,关于出身的荒唐质疑给他带来一些上好的笑话材料。所以,在为白宫记者晚宴(White House Correspondents Dinner)拍摄的视频中,他在机动车管理局排队等候领取驾驶证。

“You’re going to need a birth certificate,” says the clerk. Obama pulls one from his pocket. “It’s real,” he deadpans. Another video showed him getting retirement tips from former House Speaker John Boehner. Obama looked at the bright side: “I can wear those mom jeans again.”

“你需要出示出生证明,”工作人员说。奥巴马从口袋中拿出一张纸。“这是真的,”他面无表情地说。在另一个视频中,奥巴马向前众议院议长约翰·博纳(John Boehner)讨教退休经验。他想到了乐观的一面:“我又能穿那些宽大的牛仔裤了。”

Appearing on “Between Two Ferns,” the mock cable show with Zach Galifianakis, Obama was asked, “What’s it like to be the last black president?” POTUS didn’t blink. “What’s it like for this to be the last time you’ll ever talk to a president?”

扎克·加利菲亚纳基斯(Zach Galifianakis)在假冒有线电视脱口秀《两盆蕨类植物之间》(Between Two Ferns)中问奥巴马:“作为最后一位黑人总统,你是什么感觉?”这位美国总统连眼睛都没眨一下,问道:“这是你这辈子最后一次跟总统交谈,你是什么感觉?”

Trump sends out angry tweets demanding apologies, and cyberbullying his many enemies. Obama used Twitter to comment on an unusual recipe for guacamole in The New York Times. “Not buying peas in the guac,” he wrote, a bipartisan conclusion.

特朗普在Twitter上发愤怒的帖子,要求别人道歉,对自己的对手展开网络霸凌。奥巴马则在Twitter上评论《纽约时报》一个不同寻常的鳄梨酱食谱。“鳄梨酱里放豌豆是不能接受的,”他写道,这是两党的一致意见。

The secret source of humor is not joy, Mark Twain said, but sorrow. And in looking back at the presidents who could tell a joke, you see people surrounded by tragedy. Obama may have found some of his inspiration from the man who held the union together at its darkest time, Abraham Lincoln.

马克·吐温(Mark Twain)曾说过,幽默的秘诀不是欢乐,而是悲伤。当回顾那些会讲笑话的总统时,你会发现他们全是悲剧缠身的人。奥巴马的某些灵感也许来自于那个在美国最黑暗的时期把这个国家团结起来的人:亚伯拉罕·林肯(Abraham Lincoln)。

Lincoln’s best-known comic line came during a debate, when he was accused of being two-faced. “Honestly, “ he said, “if I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

林肯最有趣的一句玩笑出现在一次辩论中,当时他被指责是个两面派。“说真的,”他说,“如果我有两张脸,我会戴着这张脸出来吗?”

Teddy Roosevelt, who lost his wife and his mother on the same day, was a buoyant prankster and joke-teller, and probably the only president to skinny dip in the Potomac. His progressive agenda was often stymied in the Senate. T.R. returned the fire. “When they call the roll,” he said, “the senators do not know whether to announce present or not guilty.”

泰迪·罗斯福(Teddy Roosevelt)在同一天失去妻子和母亲。他很爱搞恶作剧,爱开玩笑,很可能是唯一一位曾在波托马克河(Potomac)里裸泳的总统。他的改革提案经常在参议院受阻。他回击说,“点名时,那些参议员不知道是应该回答‘到’还是 ‘无罪’。”

His fifth cousin, Franklin Roosevelt, loved a good joke, and not just while mixing drinks during his regular White House cocktail hour. At the depth of the Great Depression, in signing legislation that loosened the worst grip of Prohibition, he said, “this would be a good time for a beer.”

他的第五代堂弟富兰克林‧罗斯福(Franklin Roosevelt)很喜欢开玩笑,而且不只是在他定期举行的白宫鸡尾酒会上调酒的时候。在大萧条最严重的时期,在签署法令放松禁酒令(Prohibition)最严厉限制条款时,他说,“现在是来一杯啤酒的好时候。”

Harry Truman gave us the line about how to find a friend in Washington — “Get a dog.” John F. Kennedy parried concern about his wealthy father buying the election with a telegram he read for the press: “Dear Jack: don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide. Love, Dad.”

哈里·杜鲁门(Harry Truman)在谈起如何在华盛顿找到一位朋友时,说了一句有趣的话:“找条狗吧。”约翰·F·肯尼迪(John F. Kennedy)在回应他富有的父亲为他买选票的质疑时,对着媒体念了一条电报:“亲爱的杰克:千万别买多了,够用就行。你要是买出一场压倒性胜利,我就完了。爱你的爸爸。”

Ronald Reagan, who learned to glide through public life on a carpet of soft humor, had this famous quip to his wife after being shot: “Honey, I forgot to duck.”

罗纳德·里根(Ronald Reagan)学会了用柔和的幽默应对公共生活。他最著名的妙语是遭枪击后对妻子说的话:“亲爱的,我忘躲了。”

Obama’s humor is droll, with a bite. He noted that Dick Cheney said he was the worst president of his lifetime. “Which is interesting, because I think Dick Cheney is the worst president of my lifetime.”

奥巴马的幽默很独特,带有一定的攻击性。他曾提到,迪克·切尼(Dick Cheney)说他是他有生以来见过的最糟糕的总统。“这很有意思,因为我觉得迪克·切尼是我有生以来见过的最糟糕的总统。”(此处应是揶揄作为副总统的切尼在小布什当政期间的强势作风。——译注)

The 44th president is leaving office with soaring approval ratings, or as he put it: “The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide my major.”

第44任美国总统将会带着极高的满意度卸任,或者就像他说的:“上次我飞这么高时,还在决定读什么专业。”

In Greece last week, after touring the timeless monuments of an ancient civilization, Obama was pestered with questions about the fate of the planet when he hands the office over to Trump. He offered some reassuring words, echoing Yogi Berra. “I always say that the only thing that is the end of world is the end of the world.”

上周,在希腊参观完那个古老文明的不朽遗迹后,奥巴马被问到特朗普接手他的职位后地球的命运。他说了一句很像约吉·贝拉(Yogi Berra)的话来安慰众人,“我总是说,唯一的世界末日是世界末日。”

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