您现在的位置: 纽约时报中英文网 >> 纽约时报中英文版 >> 教育 >> 正文

26岁时,一场意外的中风改变了我

更新时间:2016-9-29 10:08:46 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

What I Learned From a Stroke at 26: Make Time to Untangle
26岁时,一场意外的中风改变了我

As an idealistic, knowledge-hungry college graduate and aspiring writer, I had grown tired of hopping from one office gig to the next. It was 2000 and technology was in full bloom. I wanted to cash in on the digital gold rush. Like many of my friends in Austin, Tex., I figured, why not join the internet economy?

作为一个理想主义的、渴望知识的大学毕业生和志向远大的作家,我厌倦了从一个办公室职位跳到另一个。当时是2000年,科技正在蓬勃发展。我也想在数字淘金热中捞一笔。与我在德克萨斯州奥斯汀的很多朋友一样,我在想:为什么不加入互联网经济呢?

I answered an ad for a job at a venture-backed start-up company with a focus on education. More than just offering stock options, the job promised a creative launching pad that I would have been foolish to ignore. After interviewing for the position, I happily accepted the company’s offer.

我看到广告,应聘了一家拿到风投的教育初创公司的一个职位。除了提供股票期权,这份工作还承诺提供一个创造性发展平台——除非我傻,否则不可能忽略这一点。面试之后,我愉快地接受了这家公司的工作机会。

Each day at the company was a sensory experience filled with color — the office was painted in 17 of them — fragrant candles, brain games and yoga balls. Each week pulled me into stimulating projects, problems to solve, new technology and, best of all, interaction with a team of talented, intelligent and dedicated co-workers.

在公司的每一天都是充满色彩的感官体验——办公室涂了17种颜色——还有香薰蜡烛、智力游戏和瑜伽球。每一周我都进入令人兴奋的项目,解决问题,开发新技术,最棒的是与一群才华横溢、聪明敬业的同事互动。

My ambition swelled. I hustled my way up the chain of command and managed to survive layoffs. In a matter of months, I found myself leading development and marketing for a team of designers, programmers, producers, subject matter experts, sales staff and writers.

我的抱负越来越大。我迅速获得提升,在裁员浪潮中存活了下来。数月之后,我发现自己领导着一个研发和市场推广团队,成员中有设计师、程序员、制作人、行业专家、销售人员和撰稿人。

I would easily clock 70 hours of work a week — more if we were on a deadline. I was often the first in the office and the last to leave. But I was more than happy to give my job my all.

我经常一周工作70个小时——如果赶工期的话,工时会更长。我经常是办公室第一个到,最后一个走的。但我很高兴把自己完全奉献给工作。

To keep up the pace, I put myself through a series of self-imposed tortures that included overcaffeinating and taking catnaps in place of real sleep. I was 26 and felt invincible. I figured I could handle the pressure, so I ignored repeated headaches, blurred vision and general exhaustion.

为了赶进度,我把自己投入到一系列自我折磨中,包括喝很多咖啡、用打盹代替真正的睡眠。当时我26岁,觉得自己不可战胜。我觉得自己可以承受这样的压力,所以不理会反复出现的头疼、视力模糊和疲倦。

Early one summer morning in 2001, I arrived at the office and felt a slight buzzing in my right eye and some tingly numbness in my hands, which I dismissed as mere morning grogginess. A little later, I stood up to make a presentation at a team meeting. A colleague later told me she saw my mouth droop as my words started slurring.

2001年夏天的一个上午,我到达办公室,觉得右眼嗡了一下,双手出现刺痛麻麻的感觉,我以为这只是早上犯迷糊而已。过了一会儿,在团队会议上,我站起来讲话。一个同事后来跟我说,她看见我嘴歪了,说话吐字不清。

The next thing I knew, someone was saying: “You’ve had a stroke. We have to run a scan to figure out what’s going on. Do you understand?”

之后我所知道的就是,有人对我说:“你中风了。我们必须做个扫描,看看出了什么问题。你明白吗?”

I was in my 20s, and my brain was damaged. I couldn’t articulate my thoughts to the doctor or nurses. While the words were there and I clearly saw them in my mind, I couldn’t connect them to speech. My hands were still tingling, and I was unable to sign my name after my brain scan, because I couldn’t remember how to spell it.

那时我才20多岁,大脑已经受到了损伤。我无法把自己的想法清楚地表达给医生或护士。那些话就在那儿,我清楚地看见它们在我脑子里,但就是无法把它们连成语言。我的手仍有麻刺感。脑部扫描后,我连签名都困难,因为我不记得怎么拼写了。

When I was discharged from the hospital late the next day, the cabdriver asked me, “Where do I take you?” I couldn’t remember the name of my street. I handed him the discharge paperwork with my address on it, arrived home and slept for a long while.

第二天晚些时候,我出院了。出租车司机问我,“你去哪儿?”我根本想不起来自己住在哪条街。我把出院文件递给他,上面有我的地址。到家后,我睡了很长时间。

Being so young, I had not even considered that having a stroke was a possibility. But I have since learned that they are on the rise among younger people. My doctor did not directly link my stroke to overwork, but said it could have been aggravated by stress, overexertion and exhaustion.

当时我还那么年轻,从没想过自己会中风。不过后来得知,中风在年轻人中的发病率在上升。医生并没有说劳累过度是我中风的直接原因,但是他说,压力、过劳或疲惫可能加重了病情。

After being released from the hospital, I felt helpless and humiliated over my loss of control. My aura of invincibility had shattered. But I slowly recovered. Every night, I’d practice spelling polysyllabic words, like “arachnophobia” and “Czechoslovakia,” backward; I’d do complex math problems; I worked on relearning memories that had been disrupted. I practiced yoga and meditation. The more I accepted my imperfect mind, the more I settled into a place of contentment.

出院后,我对失去控制感到无助和丢脸。我不可战胜的光环破碎了。但是我慢慢开始恢复。每天晚上,我练习拼写长单词,比如arachnophobia(蜘蛛恐惧症)和Czechoslovakia(捷克斯洛伐克);做复杂的数学题;重新学习遭到破坏的记忆力。我做瑜伽和冥想。我越接受自己不完美的大脑,越能获得满足感。

Thanks to the support of my colleagues, I returned to work, but by necessity my frenetic daily sprint had to slow to a crawl. Now I made time for pauses and reflection — and my work, and my life, became richer as a result.

多亏同事们的支持,我重返工作岗位,不过不可避免的,我每天疯狂的冲刺变成了爬行。现在,我抽出时间停歇和思考——结果,我的工作和生活变得更为丰富了。

Because of the stroke, I reset my professional priorities. With each new career opportunity — from writing books to starting a company to consulting on various projects — I learned the value of a calendar and how to avoid overcommitment.

由于那次中风,我重新设定了自己的职业重心。对每一个新的事业机会——从写书,到开公司,到给不同的项目提供咨询——我懂得了设定日程和避免过多承诺的重要性。

I began to own my calendar and live by it. I scheduled everything in it: work commitments, exercise, walks, social gatherings and even sleep time. I continue to do so to this day. I now have a daily mental reset hour that is usually every afternoon around 4 or 5. I walk with my wife, I breathe, I smile, I meditate and say hello to random people and animals, and I write in a journal or draw.

我开始拥有自己的日程,并按之行事。我把一切都列入日程:工作承诺、锻炼、散步、社交聚会,甚至睡眠时间。直到今天,我依然这样做。现在,我的大脑每天有个重置时间,通常是每天下午四五点钟。我和妻子一起散步,我呼吸、微笑、冥想,跟陌生人和动物打招呼,写日记或着画画。

Even today, as I run multiple ventures and travel frequently, I still make time to untangle from the digital world and plug back into what really matters: time with people I love, time for creativity and time in nature. As for my career, I look at it as a series of meaningful projects stacked one on top of another, none of them too consuming or overwhelming.

到现在,我手上已经有了好几个公司,而且经常出差,但我依然挤时间从数字世界脱身,投入真正重要的事情:陪伴我爱的人、创新、到大自然中去。至于我的事业,我把它看做一系列有意义项目的叠加,不会让任何项目太耗费精力或让人难以承受。

Overload is the way of work these days. It’s how the ambitious among us are hard-wired, and it’s quite dangerous, as my experience showed. But it’s also dangerous for us not to fully pursue — and give our all to — opportunities that move us forward. This is the dynamic tension we face in today’s creative economy.

负担过重是如今的工作方式。我们当中那些雄心勃勃者难免成为拼命三郎,这很危险——我的经历说明了这一点。但是,如果我们不竭尽全力去追求把我们向前推进的机会,那也很危险。这就是我们在今天的创意经济中所面临的动态张力。

If we want more, we have to give more, but we have to stay aware of what we might give up in the process. While it’s great to be ambitious, we must learn to listen for cues, step back and slow down the pace at times. We need to learn how to create space for both making a living and making a life.

如果我们想得到更多,就得付出更多,但我们必须知道在这个过程中,可能需要放弃什么。雄心勃勃固然好,但我们必须学会倾听提醒,偶尔后退一步,放缓脚步。我们需要学会如何同时为谋生和生活创造空间。

“全文请访问纽约时报中文网,本文发表于纽约时报中文网(http://cn.nytimes.com),版权归纽约时报公司所有。任何单位及个人未经许可,不得擅自转载或翻译。订阅纽约时报中文网新闻电邮:http://nytcn.me/subscription/”

相关文章列表