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希拉里执政百日后,世界会发生这些奇事

更新时间:2016-9-21 10:00:49 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

Hillary’s First 100 Days
希拉里执政百日后,世界会发生这些奇事

Hillary Clinton took the oath of office as the 45th president of the United States on Friday, Jan. 20, 2017, after defeating the thousandaire Donald J. Trump in the previous November’s election. Since F.D.R., the first 100 days have come to be seen as the defining moment of each presidency and are used to measure each new president’s accomplishments. Below are the highlights of President Clinton’s first 100 days as recorded near the end of her second term, in 2024, by her official biographer, and recovered from a deleted email in 2025.

在前一年11月的选举中击败千元富翁唐纳德·J·特朗普(Donald J. Trump)之后,希拉里·克林顿于2017年1月20日宣誓就任美利坚合众国第45任总统。自罗斯福时代以来,总统执政的头100天便成为每届任期的决定性时刻,用来衡量新总统的成就。以下是克林顿总统履新百日的亮点,由她的官方传记作者记录于2024年她第二任期的尾声,并在2025年从一封遭到删除的邮件中找回。

Day 1:
Inauguration of President Hillary Clinton and Vice President Tim Kaine. Five minutes later, the G.O.P.-led House of Representatives begins impeachment proceedings. Bernie Sanders assures supporters that there is still a way he can win.

第一天:
希拉里·克林顿与蒂姆·凯恩(Tim Kaine)分别就任总统与副总统。五分钟后,共和党领导的众议院启动弹劾程序。伯尼·桑德斯(Beinie Sanders)向支持者打包票,他仍然有办法获胜。

Day 2:
Revealed that Hillary charged the United States $500,000 for her Inaugural Address and refuses to release the transcript. A nation wonders whether Huma is really single now or if she and Anthony are just taking a break.

第二天:
媒体曝光希拉里向合众国收取了50万美元的就职演讲费,并且拒绝发布演说词。全美上下都在猜测,她的高级幕僚胡玛到底是单身了,还是她与安东尼不过暂时分开一段时间。

Day 3:
President Clinton appoints Katy Perry secretary of transportation. Perry will go down in history as the greatest transportation secretary since John A. Volpe and the hottest since Norman ­Mineta.

第三天:
克林顿总统任命凯蒂·佩里(Katy Perry)担任运输部长。作为约翰·A·沃尔普(John A. Volpe)以来最伟大的运输部长及诺曼·峰田(Norman ­Mineta)以来最火辣的部长,佩里将载入史册。

Day 4:
Donald Trump fires his wife and two of his sons, then hires the alleged sexual-harasser Roger Ailes as his new son, Donald Trump III.

第四天:
唐纳德·特朗普炒掉了妻子与两个儿子,然后聘请受到性骚扰指控的罗杰·艾尔斯(Roger Ailes)担任新儿子,并封他为唐纳德·特朗普三世。

Day 5:
President Clinton makes tentative plans for the girls’ weekend with Angela Merkel. “We deserve it!”

第五天:
克林顿总统临时提议与安格拉·默克尔(Angela Merkel)一起共度闺蜜周末。“这是我们应得的!”

Day 6:
Former President Bill Clinton asks what they changed about the White House waffle recipe, “because I swear they changed something.”

第六天:
前总统比尔·克林顿(Bill Clinton)询问白宫的华夫饼配方做了什么变化,“因为我发誓有东西不一样了。”

Day 8:
Chastened by her tenure as secretary of state, President Clinton undertakes new measures to secure the email on her private server, changing the password from 1234 to 12345. Republicans demand special prosecutor.

第八天:
由于对担任国务卿期间的事情心怀愧疚,克林顿总统采取了新措施来保护私人服务器上的邮件,把密码从1234改为12345。共和党人要求特别检察官介入。

Day 9:
President Clinton fills first Supreme Court vacancy with Debbie Wasserman Schultz after considering Barack Obama, Barbra Streisand and Colin Kaepernick. Merrick Garland takes wife to New York City but cannot get tickets to “Hamilton.”

第九天:
考虑了贝拉克·奥巴马(Barack Obama)、芭芭拉·史翠珊(Barbra Streisand)和明星四分卫柯林·卡佩尼克(Colin Kaepernick)之后,克林顿总统决定启用民主党全国委员会前主席黛比·沃瑟曼·舒尔茨(Debbie Wasserman Schultz)来填补最高法院的空位。奥巴马当初提名的梅里克·加兰德(Merrick Garland)偕妻子来到纽约,却无法搞到《汉密尔顿》(Hamilton)的票。

Day 11:
President Clinton puts First Gentleman Bill in charge of health care, just so he can “see how it feels.”

第11天:
克林顿总统让第一先生比尔负责医保问题,这样他就能“体会她当年的感受”。

Day 12:
President Clinton grants Donald Trump a complete tax amnesty, completing the deal made two years earlier in which he agreed to run for president.

第12天:
克林顿总统全面赦免唐纳德·特朗普的税务责任,从而完成了两年前为了让他答应竞选总统而达成的交易。

Day 16:
President Clinton ­challenges NASA to create new pantsuit colors. Promises American people new apolitical shade of off-white — “a cross between eggshell and ecru” — by end of decade.

第16天:
克林顿总统请美国航空航天局(NASA)接受挑战,研究新的女式衣裤套装配色。她向美国人民承诺,在这个十年结束之前,创造出全新的不带政治色彩的米色——“浅蛋壳色与淡褐色混合的颜色”。

Day 17:
First “Were We Too Hard on Donald Trump?” think piece appears in New York magazine. Toni Morrison calls Hillary “America’s third black president.”

第17天:
《纽约》杂志(New York)上出现了第一篇《我们当初是否对唐纳德·特朗普太苛刻?》的反思文章。作家托妮·莫里森(Toni Morrison)则将希拉里·克林顿称为“美国历史上第三位黑人总统”。(她曾于1998年撰文称比尔·克林顿为首位黑人总统——译注。)

Day 23:
Emergency surgery for president’s seizures. Eagle-eyed Trump supporters who pointed out undiagnosed condition save the president’s life.

第23天:
总统发病,进行了紧急手术。是眼尖的特朗普支持者指出了克林顿尚未诊断出来的毛病,从而挽救了总统的性命。

Day 26:
President reiterates desire to have that girls’ weekend to Angela Merkel. “Next month!”

第26天:
总统重申她渴望与安格拉·默克尔共度闺蜜周末。“就下个月吧!”

Day 33:
Russia invades the United States. President Clinton defeats Russia. Time magazine again wonders, “Are Angels Real?”

第33天:
俄罗斯入侵美国。克林顿总统大败俄罗斯。报章再次感叹,“天使一定是真实存在的吧?”

Day 39:
On Waimanalo Beach, Oahu, former President Obama and his high school friends Deegan and Chocho blaze a ­fattie to celebrate refounding of the Choom Gang. Michelle tells Barack to put on shirt.

第39天:
在夏威夷欧胡岛的怀马纳洛海滩上,前总统奥巴马与高中时代的友人迪根和霍霍抽上一支大麻卷,庆祝“呼麻帮”(Choom Gang)重组。米歇尔勒令贝拉克穿上上衣。

Day 42:
ISIS holds first annual awards banquet in Syria. President Clinton surprisingly named M.V.P. and delivers ­acceptance speech. Republicans demand special prosecutor.

第42天:
伊斯兰国(ISIS)在叙利亚举办了首次年度颁奖晚宴。克林顿总统出人意料地被列为最重要贵宾并发表了接受这一头衔的演说。共和党人要求特别检察官介入。

Day 51:
Finally turns up the thermostat in the West Wing. “I’ve been waiting 25 years to do that.”

第51天:
她总算是调高了白宫西翼的温控器。“为了这一天,我等待了25年。”

Day 54:
Joe Biden promises Tim Kaine he’s “almost, almost done” moving out of vice-presidential residence for 54th day in a row.

第54天:
乔·拜登(Joe Biden)向蒂姆·凯恩保证,“马上,马上就会”腾出副总统官邸。这是他连续54天做出这样的承诺。

Day 62:
Telephones Angela Merkel. “So when are we doing that girls’ weekend, Chica?”

第62天:
给安格拉·默克尔打了好几通电话。“那么,我们什么时候共度闺蜜周末呢,姐们?”

Day 63:
Laundry day. Sixty-three pantsuits sent to cleaners. Republicans demand another special prosecutor, exhume Vince Foster.

第63天:
该洗衣服了。将63套女式衣裤套装送去洗衣房。共和党人又一次要求特别检察官介入,搬出了1993年自杀的比尔·克林顿政府的白宫幕僚文斯·福斯特(Vince Foster)。

Day 65:
President visits GoDaddy and purchases CharlotteClintonMezvinsky-forPresident2056.com.

第65天:
总统上了GoDaddy网站,买下了为外孙女助选的域名CharlotteClintonMezvinsky-forPresident2056.com。

Day 71:
Trump remarries. Bride wears new shade of off-white, “eggcru” (patent pending), and delivers Michelle Obama’s wedding vows.

第71天:
特朗普四婚。新娘身着一身米色礼服,准确说是最新的“蛋褐色”(正在申请专利),并在发表结婚誓言时偷师米歇尔·奥巴马。

Day 76:
Prosecutor-gate. Republicans run out of special prosecutors.

第76天:
检察官门危机爆发。共和党人要求的特别检察官不够用了。

Day 82:
Girls’ weekend canceled. Doesn’t even bother to call Merkel because she knows that Merkel knows it too.

第82天:
闺蜜周末取消。压根就没想过要给默克尔打电话告知此事,因为她知道默克尔对此也心知肚明。

Day 83:
Clinton surprises Canada with giant wall to protect our northern border. Makes Canada pay for it.

第83天:
克林顿出乎加拿大意料地修了一堵高墙,用以捍卫美利坚的北部边境。她还让加拿大为此掏了腰包。

Day 93:
Traditional Easter egg roll for children of Goldman Sachs executives.

第93天:
与高盛(Goldman Sachs)高管们的孩子在白宫南草坪进行传统的复活节滚彩蛋比赛。

Day 95:
Satellite images of Angela Merkel and Theresa May having brunch. President Clinton orders military to DEFCON 2.

第95天:
卫星影像显示安格拉·默克尔与特丽莎·梅(Theresa May)共进早午餐。克林顿总统下令美国军方提升至二级戒备状态。

Day 100:
Libya becomes Western-leaning democracy. House Republicans refuse to acknowledge the first 100 days of Hillary’s presidency on the basis that women count days only when their period is late, and that’s just icky.

第100天:
利比亚成为亲西方的民主国家。众议院的共和人拒绝承认希拉里履新百日,理由是女人只有在例假推迟的时候才会数日子,实在是太矫情了。

Day 101:
Focus group to decide what to do for next 100 days. Market shows sturdy growth with a dramatic rise in G.D.P. Analysts cite reduced unemployment, robust trade and also “women be shoppin’.”

第101天:
让民调焦点小组决定接下来的100天里要做些什么。市场显示美国经济稳健增长,国内生产总值飙升。分析人士给出的理由包括失业率下降、贸易活跃,以及“女人在买买买”。

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