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美国加强校园性教育:沉默不代表同意

更新时间:2015-10-29 10:49:35 来源:纽约时报中文网 作者:佚名

Sex Ed Lesson: ‘Yes Means Yes,’ but It’s Tricky
美国加强校园性教育:沉默不代表同意

The classroom of 10th graders had already learned about sexually transmitted diseases and various types of birth control. On this day, the teenagers gathered around tables to discuss another topic: how and why to make sure each step in a sexual encounter is met with consent.

十年级的学生已经知道性传播疾病和各种避孕措施。这天,青少年们聚在桌边讨论另一个话题:如何以及为什么要确保性接触的每一步都得到对方的同意。

Consent from the person you are kissing — or more — is not merely silence or a lack of protest, Shafia Zaloom, a health educator at the Urban School of San Francisco, told the students. They listened raptly, but several did not disguise how puzzled they felt.

旧金山城市学校(Urban School of San Francisco)的健康教育教师莎菲亚·扎卢姆(Shafia Zaloom)对学生们说,如果你亲吻(或更深层次性接触)的对象只是沉默或者没有反抗,那并不代表他们同意。学生们认真地在听,但是有几个人并没有掩饰他们感到多么迷惑。

“What does that mean — you have to say ‘yes’ every 10 minutes?” asked Aidan Ryan, 16, who sat near the front of the room.

“那是什么意思?必须每十分钟说一遍‘好的’?”坐在教室前部的16岁的艾丹·赖恩(Aidan Ryan)说。

“Pretty much,” Ms. Zaloom answered. “It’s not a timing thing, but whoever initiates things to another level has to ask.”

“差不多是这样,”扎卢姆回答说,“这不是时间间隔的问题,而是不管哪一方提出进入下一步,都应该问一下。”

The “no means no” mantra of a generation ago is being eclipsed by “yes means yes” as more young people all over the country are told that they must have explicit permission from the object of their desire before they engage in any touching, kissing or other sexual activity. With Gov. Jerry Brown’s signature on a bill this month, California became the first state to require that all high school health education classes give lessons on affirmative consent, which includes explaining that someone who is drunk or asleep cannot grant consent.

二三十年前的“不行就是不行”咒语正被“行就是行”所代替,美国各地的更多年轻人被告知,在进行抚摸和亲吻等性活动之前,必须获得心仪对象的明确同意。本月,加利福尼亚州州长杰里·布朗(Jerry Brown)签署了一项法案,要求所有高中健康教育课提供关于正面同意的内容,比如,告诉学生们,醉酒和熟睡的人不具备表示同意的能力。加州是第一个通过类似法案的州。

Last year, California led the way in requiring colleges to use affirmative consent as the standard in campus disciplinary decisions, defining how and when people agree to have sex. More than a dozen legislatures in other states, including Maryland, Michigan and Utah, are considering similar legislation for colleges. One goal is to improve the way colleges and universities deal with accusations of rape and sexual assault and another is to reduce the number of young people who feel pressured into unwanted sexual conduct.

去年,加利福尼亚州率先要求大学把正面同意作为校园惩戒决定的标准,用它来界定人们如何以及何时同意进行性行为。马里兰、密歇根和犹他等州的十多个立法机构正在考虑为大学设立类似的法律。这样做一是为了改善大学处理强奸和性骚扰指控的方式,二是为了减少年轻人迫于压力而不太情愿地进行性行为的情况。

Critics say the lawmakers and advocates of affirmative consent are trying to draw a sharp line in what is essentially a gray zone, particularly for children and young adults who are grappling with their first feelings of romantic attraction. In he-said, she-said sexual assault cases, critics of affirmative consent say the policy puts an unfair burden of proof on the accused.

评论家们说,立法者和正面同意的支持者正努力让这个灰色地带变得更明朗,特别是为了那些情窦初开的儿童和年轻人。正面同意的批评者们说,在各执一词的性骚扰案件中,这种政策让被告承担了不公平的举证责任。

“There’s really no clear standard yet — what we have is a lot of ambiguity on how these standards really work in the court of law,” said John F. Banzhaf III, a professor at George Washington University Law School. “The standard is not logical — nobody really works that way. The problem with teaching this to high school students is that you are only going to sow more confusion. They are getting mixed messages depending where they go afterward.”

“真的没有明确的标准,这些标准在法庭上如何应用存在很大的模糊性,”乔治·华盛顿大学法学院(George Washington University Law School)教授约翰·F·班茨哈夫三世(John F. Banzhaf III)说,“这种标准不合常情——在现实生活中,没人这么做。这样教高中生,只会让他们更迷惑。他们得到的信息相互矛盾,不知道该何去何从。”

But Ms. Zaloom, who has taught high school students about sex for two decades, said she was grateful for the new standard, even as she acknowledged the students’ unease.

扎卢姆教授高中性教育课20年了。她倒是很赞成这个新标准,尽管她也承认,这对学生们来说并不容易。

“What’s really important to know is that sex is not always super smooth,” she told her 10th graders. “It can be awkward, and that’s actually normal and shows things are O.K.”

“重要的是,你要知道,性爱并不总是十分顺利,”她对十年级的学生们说,“它可能会尴尬,这实际上是正常的,没什么问题。”

The students did not seem convinced. They sat in groups to brainstorm ways to ask for affirmative consent. They crossed off a list of options: “Can I touch you there?” Too clinical. “Do you want to do this?” Too tentative. “Do you like that?” Not direct enough.

学生们似乎并不信服。他们分成小组,讨论获得正面同意的方法。他们排除了很多选择,比如,“我可以摸你那儿吗?”太像医生看病了。“你想做这个吗?”太模糊了。“你喜欢那样吗?”不够直接。

“They’re all really awkward and bizarre,” one girl said.

“真的都很别扭,很奇怪,”一个女孩说。

“Did you come up with any on your own?” Ms. Zaloom asked.

“你们自己有没有想到什么说法?”扎卢姆问道。

One boy offered up two words: “You good?”

一个男孩提出了一个非常简单的问法:“这样好吗?”

That drew nearly unanimous nods of approval.

这种问法几乎得到了一致赞同。

Under the new law, high school students in California must be educated about the concept of affirmative consent — but they are not actually being held to that standard. So a high school student on trial on rape charges would not have to prove that he or she obtained oral assent from the accuser. That was the case with a senior at the elite St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire this year who was accused of raping a freshman. The senior was acquitted of aggravated sexual assault but found guilty of statutory rape — sex with a minor.

按照新法律,加州高中生必须接受关于正面同意的教导,但是实际上他们并不受这条标准约束。遭到强奸指控的高中生不需要证明自己得到了原告的口头同意。今年,新罕布什尔州精英圣保罗学校(St. Paul’s School)一名即将毕业的学生被指控强奸一名高一学生。这名学生被判严重性骚扰罪名不成立,但是由于他和未成年人发生了性关系,所以构成了强奸罪。

As for college students, the law passed last year in California does not change the way sexual assault cases are prosecuted in criminal courts, only in the way they are handled by colleges, which are permitted to use affirmative consent as a standard.

对大学生来说,去年加州通过的法律并没有改变性骚扰案件在刑事法庭上的起诉方式,只是改变了此类案件在大学里的处理方式,大学获准使用正面同意作为评判标准。

Last year, Corey Mock, a student at the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga, was expelled after officials there found him guilty of sexual misconduct because he could not prove he had obtained verbal consent from a woman who accused him of sexual assault. But a Davidson County Chancery Court judge ruled in August that the university had “improperly shifted the burden of proof and imposed an untenable standard upon Mr. Mock to disprove the accusation.” The judge called the university’s ruling “arbitrary and capricious.”

去年,田纳西大学查塔努加校区(University of Tennessee-Chattanooga)的学生科里·莫克(Corey Mock)被一个女人指控性骚扰,他无法证明自己获得了原告的口头同意,所以校方判定他进行不当性行为,将他开除。但是,今年8月,戴维森县衡平法院(Davidson County Chancery Court)的一名法官判定该大学“为了反驳指控,不恰当地转移举证责任并将不合理的标准强加到莫克身上”,称该大学的裁决“武断随意”。

In another case, a former student at Clark University in Worcester, Mass., who was evicted from his dormitory room after a student accused him of rape, filed a lawsuit in federal court in August against the university and several administrators. The former student, identified in court records as John Doe, argued that he had been denied the rights promised in the student handbook and that the adjudicators of his case had ignored text messages that supported his view of the encounter.

在另一起案件中,一名曾在马萨诸塞州伍斯特克拉克大学(Clark University)就读的学生被另一名学生指控强奸,被逐出宿舍。今年8月,这名学生向联邦法院提起诉讼,控告这所大学和几名主管。这名学生在法庭文件中被称为约翰·多伊(John Doe)。他说,他被剥夺了学生手册中承诺的权利,此案的裁决者无视支持他说法的短信。

Kevin de León, the California State Senate speaker pro tempore and lead sponsor of the high school legislation, said the new law was as much about changing the culture as it was about changing the law.

加州参议院临时议长、这项法案的主要倡议者凯文·德利昂(Kevin de León)说,这项新法案不只是为了改变法律,也是为了改变文化。

“Sexual violence has always thrived in the gray areas of the law,” Mr. de León said. “What we want to create is a standard of behavior, a paradigm shift as much as a legal shift. We’re no longer talking about the old paradigm of the victim being blamed for their own behavior.”

“性暴力一直在法律的灰色地带滋生,”德利昂说,“我们想创立一个行为标准,它不仅是法律上的改变,而且是行为规范的改变。我们想要摒弃受害者自己的行为遭到指责的旧模式。”

But among teenagers, who are only beginning to experiment with their sexuality and have hazy ideas of their own boundaries, the talk tends to be about “hooking up” and what the new rules are. “Kids are still establishing patterns of behavior, and they have a lot of specific concrete questions,” said Ms. Zaloom, who has written a curriculum for affirmative consent programs that is being used throughout the country.

但是青少年刚开始尝试性爱,对界线不甚了解,所以这些讨论更像是关于“交朋友”和新规则。“孩子们仍在尝试建立行为模式,他们有很多具体的问题,”扎卢姆说。她写了一本关于正面同意的教材,正在全美国使用。

Students will ask, “Can I have sex when we are both drunk?” she said. “I get this one a lot: If I hook up with a girl and the next day she decides she didn’t want to do it, then what do I do?”

她说,学生们会问:“我们都喝醉了,可以做爱吗?”她还说,“他们经常问我这个问题:如果我和一个姑娘好上了,但是第二天她又不想跟我好了,那我该怎么办?”

Ms. Zaloom will typically use such questions as a way to begin talking about the benefits of sexual partners’ knowing each other. But sometimes, there are no straightforward answers, she said. “We’re trying to show them very explicitly that sex has to include a dialogue,” she added, “that they have to talk about it each step of the way.”

扎卢姆通常会以这样的问题开头,谈论性伙伴相互了解的好处。不过她说,有些问题没有明确的答案。“我们努力非常明确地告诉他们,性爱必须包含交流,”她补充说,“每一步都要说清楚。”

One 10th-grade girl asked about approaching someone about a casual encounter. “What if it’s just a one-time thing?”

一个十年级女生提到偶然交往的问题。“如果只是一夜情呢?”

“You have to be prepared to say ‘no’ and hear ‘no,’ ” Ms. Zaloom said.

“你必须准备好要拒绝别人或者被别人拒绝,”扎卢姆说。

Another girl chimed in, “If you don’t care about a person too much, you might not be inclined to listen.”

另一个女生插话说,“如果你不是很喜欢一个人,你可能不想倾听。”

Ms. Zaloom suggested making clear plans with friends ahead of time, like making pacts to leave parties together. And she urged them to have conversations with potential sexual partners “before you get swept up in the moment.”

扎卢姆建议提前跟朋友们计划好,比如约定一起离开派对。她一再告诫他们“在一时冲动之前”与潜在性伴侣沟通好。

“How do we even start a conversation like that?” one boy wondered.

“那怎么开始沟通呢?”一个男生问道。

“Practice,” Ms. Zaloom answered.

“练习,”扎卢姆回答道。

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